However, I am not entirely without a conscience, and, deciding that fund-raising for this ridiculous activity might be easier if I offered some kind of merch, I set about to design a bunch of t-shirts and other assorted mercantilia you could buy to help subsidize my trip. My idea was this: I would download a bunch of hi-res images of Republican talking heads, convert them to classy black & white, and superimpose on their smug faces a snazzily designed paraphrase of some of their more famous opinions. For example, inspired by dammittim, there was one of Dennis Prager, with the legend "MY SON HAS A BLACK FRIEND"; there was William F. Buckley, advising that "WE SHOULD TATTOO HOMOS ON THE BUTT"; and there was the hulking phiz of the world's dumbest man, Sean Hannity, asking "WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?". These would have been available as sporty t-shirts, sexy camisoles, delightful refrigerator magnets, and even an attractive set of ceramic coasters. I even kinda taught myself PhotoShop to do this, is how much I care about you getting some bang for your buck out of this misadventure.
And then this morning, after I had worked on this nonsense for huge chunks of my weekend, Café Press wrote to inform me that the images had all been removed, as they do not allow the use of photographic images of public figures on their site. WELL THAT'S JUST GREAT. Anyway, I still want to go to CPAC, and I still want you to sent me. We're nearly a third of the way there, folks! Your generosity has been astonishing and appreciated, so tell your friends, and keep it coming. Remember, there are premiums!
Send me to CPAC!