Am I ready to give up? Am I read to pack it in? Am I ready to stop flogging you relentlessly about this Quixotic mission? YES! But I'm not going to. This is more than just an opportunity for me to take a vacation that I don't have to pay for; this is an opportunity for me to take a vacation that I don't have to pay for with the cream of America's crazy-person elite! I will be rubbing elbows and intellects with some of the people who make your lives miserable each and every day, and in a small way, I will be giving them some fucking payback! I will irritate them the way sand irritates an oyster, eventually causing it to barf up a pearl consisting of some amusing internet journal entries about the entire process! I refuse to believe that the 75% of you who have yet to donate to this amazing endeavor can't be shifted. What do I have to do? Wear a funny hat? I WILL DO THAT. I will do whatever it takes to get you to pony up some dough, within the confines of possibility, good taste and my own immeasurable laziness.
So cough it up! If I know you, this is something you will tell your grandkids about. And remember, there are incentives:
- crazy-mad premiums, and MORE TO COME
- I will call you from CPAC and let you listen to the calming drone of Ben Stein's voice
- for only twice the money, I will bring along a sketch artist or a photographer and it will be just like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas only fatter
Donate today! IT COULD NOT BE SIMPLER!
Send me to CPAC!