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Weakened

Friday I drove to Austin, because that's what I do when I want to have fun. I drive to Austin. Here there is no fun, only toil and loneliness, like in Soviet-era Eastern Europe. The trip began with almost comically exaggerated misadventures -- heavy traffic, crappy food, bad directions, discourteous drivers, brushes with the po-po -- until I began to suspect I was in a Ziggy cartoon. Fortunately, I eventually arrived at the home of thehighhat, and off we went to a place where we could drink alcoholic bevvies. That made everything better.

LIQUOR I DRANK THIS WEEKEND: Ace pear cider (4 bottles), cuba libre (1), mead (1/2 bottle), Southern Comfort (4 glasses), unidentified beer (1 bottle), funky cold medina.

I stayed with a friend in Austin whose house is located at the nexus of 82 major freeways, and I went back and forth to her place about 16 times over the course of the weekend and I got lost every time. She gave me the wrong key to her door, her toilet stopped up and overflowed while I was there, her internet access was down, her bed was like sleeping on a marble slab, and her house was swarming with crickets. Other than that, though, I greatly enjoyed Our American Cousin.

thehighhat was a gracious host, as always, and given the sort of amazing wife and kid he's got, I am always amazed he lets a shitbag like me in his house. Also, he grills a mean weenie. Guitar Hero II playing style:: flashy.

Gary Mairs is one of the better people I know, and his wife Kathy is awesome and he has the most adorable kid in the world. He gave me a copy of his film, which I plan to bootleg extensively on the Asian market. Guitar Hero II playing style:: Straightforward. (Gary actually had to be won over to the awesome fun that is GH2, but once he was, he was hard to stop. He also brought to my attention an article in the New York Times about NYC-based GH2 karaoke clubs, a mere day after I had mentioned them to him, proving that even I, a fat, ill-informed lout in South Texas, am more culturally astute than the NYT style section.

scottvond is always fun to hang out with, and, adding to my movie booty this weekend, vouchsafewd me a screener copy of Genius Club, a film which posits the fantastic notion that Stephen Baldwin is capable of portraying the smartest man in the world. I also learned that Scott and I will be in Chicago at the same time, making my upcoming trip there all the more funnerer. Guitar Hero II playing style:: failure-prone.

oilyrags is the devil. He was kind enough to draw for me a very cool picture of Jack Risk, but I didn't pick it back up, because my phone ran out of juice and I didn't know he had left me a message until late last night. B'oh. Luckily I will be in town again soon. Guitar Hero II playing style:: focused.

Finally, I was able to locate and purchase one of those crazy pillows that claim to relieve sleep apnea -- not the kind where you sleep face down, but a new kind where you lace your arm through a strap, and the pillow positions your head in such a way that your jaw tilts slightly forward, thus removing the blockage when you sleep. I can't say for sure if it worked, not being able to hear myself sleep, but despite being awkward and oddly shaped and expensive, it definitely helped me stay on my side, and breathe more freely when I was still awake. For some reason I want to avoid death a while longer, so I guess I'll keep using it, though getting a pillowcase that will fit this malformed doohickey will be like fitting the Elephant Man for a stocking cap.

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oilyrags
Jul. 16th, 2007 01:52 pm (UTC)
You are teh debbil!!!21!

Anyway, I appreciate your characterization of my GH2 approach as "focussed" rather than the possibly more accurate "boring" or "non-musical" or even "clamclamclamclamclam."

Those interested in seeing the drawing of Jack Risk are invited to visit my lj.
scottvond
Jul. 16th, 2007 04:08 pm (UTC)
What sounded like failure to rock was actually a subversive technique designed to get the listening to question his preconceived notions of "She's My Cherry Pie."
thehighhat
Jul. 16th, 2007 08:54 pm (UTC)
Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of deaths construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
Poisoning their brainwashed minds, oh lord yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to the poor

Time will tell on their power minds
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait till their judgment day comes, yeah!

Now in darkness, world stops turning
As the war machine keeps burning
No more war pigs have the power
Hand of God has struck the hour
Day of judgment, God is calling
On their knees, the war pigs crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan, laughing, spreads his wings
All right now!
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Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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