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Yesterday, mrdankelly maliciously accused me of being able to "write up a dozen or so entries a day AND remain interesting". Frankly, that doesn't sound like me -- even on my heaviest 'ASK THE DEFENDERS' day, I don't think I ever hit a dozen posts, and any recent occurrences of me being interesting have been entirely coincidental. However, I do love a challenge, so let's see if I can't hit 12 posts before this time tomorrow. This is going to be lots of fun and not at all an incredibly annoying gimmick that will make you want to banish me from your friends list!

Now, keep in mind, I have a job, which has been very busy lately, and I have a phone interview to do tonight (about which more later). So this could mean very sporadic posting followed by a flurry of easily avoided blows later in the evening. But that's all the better, as they will be simpler for you to avoid, and besides -- what else am I going to do, sleep?

In a shockingly unrelated bit of news, I seem to have passed that magic threshold of gMail account possession time after which you begin receiving upwards of 50 spam e-mails an hour. One of my favorite recent e-mail offers was a subscription to an online porn video subscription service, which would allow me full access to, among other things, "952 anal videos". Now, I like a good anal video as much as the next man, assuming that the next man is a disgusting pornography addict, but that just seems, well, excessive. Goodness knows this is a question I never thought I would find myself asking, rhetorically or otherwise, but exactly how many anal videos does one man need? I am a professional film writer, and I can barely keep up with my Netflix subscription. The prospect of having to wade through nearly a thousand anal videos is, quite honestly, less enticing than the author of this spam e-mail seems to think. Even if I were to spend, say, ten minutes on each anal video, we're talking about a rather substantial investment of time on my part. In fact, I will be perfectly honest with you people, because I care about my readership: the prospect of actually having anal sex 952 times is rather daunting, and that would be far preferable to just watching other people do it. My advice to you, Mr. or Ms. Online Porn Video Subscription Service, is to dial that number back a bit to something more realistic, say in the low hundreds. Your current level of all-anal-action is intimidating to the point of instilling feelings of inadequacy, which is the last thing you want.

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hipsterdetritus
Jul. 24th, 2007 02:38 pm (UTC)
Maybe they just meant they have 952 videos that are over-meticulously arranged and categorized to the smallest detail. (Only 350 of them feature actual dick-in-butt action.)
roseyv
Jul. 24th, 2007 04:49 pm (UTC)
I think this should be a meme. I think you should post a dozen entries today, and then I think I will post a dozen tomorrow. And perhaps this will encourage other people to post a dozen entries too!

Just think of the self-referential vaporing we could inspire!

I for one am all aquiver.
roseyv
Jul. 24th, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC)
Um, I realize now that the above sounded kind of snotty but the sad thing is, I was actually deadly serious.
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ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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