Now, keep in mind, I have a job, which has been very busy lately, and I have a phone interview to do tonight (about which more later). So this could mean very sporadic posting followed by a flurry of easily avoided blows later in the evening. But that's all the better, as they will be simpler for you to avoid, and besides -- what else am I going to do, sleep?
In a shockingly unrelated bit of news, I seem to have passed that magic threshold of gMail account possession time after which you begin receiving upwards of 50 spam e-mails an hour. One of my favorite recent e-mail offers was a subscription to an online porn video subscription service, which would allow me full access to, among other things, "952 anal videos". Now, I like a good anal video as much as the next man, assuming that the next man is a disgusting pornography addict, but that just seems, well, excessive. Goodness knows this is a question I never thought I would find myself asking, rhetorically or otherwise, but exactly how many anal videos does one man need? I am a professional film writer, and I can barely keep up with my Netflix subscription. The prospect of having to wade through nearly a thousand anal videos is, quite honestly, less enticing than the author of this spam e-mail seems to think. Even if I were to spend, say, ten minutes on each anal video, we're talking about a rather substantial investment of time on my part. In fact, I will be perfectly honest with you people, because I care about my readership: the prospect of actually having anal sex 952 times is rather daunting, and that would be far preferable to just watching other people do it. My advice to you, Mr. or Ms. Online Porn Video Subscription Service, is to dial that number back a bit to something more realistic, say in the low hundreds. Your current level of all-anal-action is intimidating to the point of instilling feelings of inadequacy, which is the last thing you want.