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Geburtstag

If I don't wish you and/or your loved one(s) a happy birthday, this does not mean I don't love you or wish you a wonderful day. There are many possible explanations as to why I didn't wish you a happy birthday:

- LJ forgot to remind me.
- My brain forgot to remind me.
- I didn't know in the first place.
- You have a restraining order against me.
- I am terribly self-centered.
- Someone else had the same birthday as you, and they hogged the whole day.
- I was drunk.

On the other hand, there is no reason why I have had this gift for calamityjon sitting on my kitchen counter for like two weeks other than pure laziness and the strong likelihood that he will hate it. So, my bad. At any rate, happy birthday to you, whoever and wherever you may be.

I think it's funny when people say "congratulations" to people on their birthday, like they've accomplished something. Like "Hey, good job on not dying in utero! You lived! Way to go!" In fact, I really enjoy it when people take credit for things that they had relatively little to do with. I'm undecided as to whether childbirth fits this category (certainly it strikes me as pretty absurd for the father to accept congratulations for having successfully ejaculated), but it definitely applies when you say something like "I'm proud to be an American" or "I'm proud to be black" or the like, as if you had any say in the matter.

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cleversimon
Jul. 24th, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC)
Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once: "American by birth. Southern by the grace of God."

Um. Okay.
ludickid
Jul. 24th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC)
There is a very popular bumper sticker around here that says "I Wasn't Born In Texas, But I Got Here As Soon As I Could". I wonder if I should get one that says "I Wasn't Born In Texas, But As Soon As I Completely Ruined My Life, I Discovered There Was Nowhere Else To Go".
clockworkmonkey
Jul. 24th, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC)
I've had RJ White's birthday gift now for months... and even when I got it it was late.

I suck.
calamityjon
Jul. 24th, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
Hey, many thanks, but I hate material goods. Did you maybe get me a sense of serenity?
ludickid
Jul. 24th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
Actually, I got you a sense of "Serenity". It's a specially designed alarm clock that goes off once an hour to remind you that somewhere, Joss Whedon is thinking highly of himself.
calamityjon
Jul. 24th, 2007 08:23 pm (UTC)
HA! Nice one!
roseyv
Jul. 24th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
Leonard, I have a birthday card in my birthday card drawer that I bought with you in mind in, I believe, 2002.

Actually, that may not even be true anymore. I may actually have given it to somebody else in a pinch.
roseyv
Jul. 24th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
I guess you'll know in a few days.
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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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PROPRIETOR

Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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