Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Everybody loves this kinda bullshit

Today, I discovered the scientific facts of which gum loses its flavor the fastest: it's Skittles Bubble Gum, which you probably didn't even know existed and good for you because its flavor disappears approximately four seconds before you put it in your mouth. Baseball card gum is more robust than this.

Anyway, here's something. Like all my links lately, I get this from hipsterdetritus, because he is young and dumb and full of fun, unlike me, a withered old husk two steps away from police-sponsored suicide. The link in question is here: pop songs with the narrative rewritten as limericks. To start, here's a few that I came up with:

A trip to L.A. was not swimmy
Far too drivey and drunky and trimmy
When asked “was it hot?”
I replied “It was not!
New York is the place for Cool Jimmy.”

I am not one to party my cock off;
Instead, I would namedrop Nabokov
And come off pretentious
While waxing licentious.
Don’t it make you want to knock my block off?

Rather jealous of Zig were the Spiders;
They were quickly his foremost deriders.
Envious of his fans,
They soon pancaked his hands
And became of his fate the deciders.

A hard-living roadie named Berry
I hired, my equipment to carry
He OD'ed on junk
Now I pack my own trunk
How much do I miss him? Uh...very!

Come gather ‘round, men of the city,
And hark to my song that is witty:
I claim my affection’s
From dairy confections
But really, it’s all about titty.


NOW YOU DO THIS! Special bonus point for stumping the band.
Tags: laffs, music
Subscribe

  • HONK

    If I was to wish someone a happy birthday today, would it be crepedelbebe? You're goddamn right it would.

  • I'm too stoned to give a full accounting

    I went to Austin this weekend. As you may know, my beloved first-generation iPod, Misty II, fatally deceased herself recently, and I got a new 80G…

  • Notes from a day

    * Stringing a crossbow is usually considered a two-man job. But when one of the two men is me, the other man is unnecessary. Also, it is possible to…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 25 comments

  • HONK

    If I was to wish someone a happy birthday today, would it be crepedelbebe? You're goddamn right it would.

  • I'm too stoned to give a full accounting

    I went to Austin this weekend. As you may know, my beloved first-generation iPod, Misty II, fatally deceased herself recently, and I got a new 80G…

  • Notes from a day

    * Stringing a crossbow is usually considered a two-man job. But when one of the two men is me, the other man is unnecessary. Also, it is possible to…