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Dueling: the Boring LiveJournal Poll

"To bring your controversies for adjustment..."

Poll #1036788 I demand satisfaction!

What weapon would you choose for a duel?

pistols
21(38.2%)
rifles
3(5.5%)
swords
12(21.8%)
fists/clubs
11(20.0%)
other (see Comments)
8(14.5%)

Why would you fight a duel?

honor
2(3.6%)
politics
1(1.8%)
pussy
1(1.8%)
being insulted
0(0.0%)
being passed over for a job
0(0.0%)
property values
0(0.0%)
being called a poltroon
4(7.1%)
strenuous objection to/agreement with a newspaper editorial
0(0.0%)
gossip
0(0.0%)
gambling debts
0(0.0%)
to prove my 'courage'
0(0.0%)
genetics
0(0.0%)
because someone mocked my favorite sports team
0(0.0%)
I wouldn't
12(21.4%)
any reason, really
5(8.9%)

Which of the following actual historical reasons for fighting a duel is the dumbest?

you disagreed with someone over the pronunciation of a word
9(16.4%)
your pets didn't get along
5(9.1%)
someone’s dog tried to bite you, which was interpreted as an accusation of murder
3(5.5%)
argument over who had more rabbits on his property
11(20.0%)
someone made fun of your hat
3(5.5%)
argument over whether or not Dante was a better poet than Ariosto, when you have not read either
12(21.8%)
you lost a tennis match
1(1.8%)
stranger in a carriage goaded you into duel with third party he didn't even know
8(14.5%)
someone jostled your arm at the theatre
2(3.6%)
you were drunk
1(1.8%)

What nationality do you think engaged in the highest per-capita amount of dueling?

the English
2(3.7%)
the Germans
2(3.7%)
the Russians
5(9.3%)
the Italians
6(11.1%)
the French
10(18.5%)
the Irish
1(1.9%)
the Spanish
8(14.8%)
the Americans
7(13.0%)
the Swedish
3(5.6%)
the Norwegians
1(1.9%)
the Greeks
2(3.7%)
the Turks
2(3.7%)
the Swiss
1(1.9%)
the Poles
3(5.6%)
the Dutch
1(1.9%)

If I challenged you to a duel, what would you choose as the time, place and weapons for our meeting?

Tags:

Comments

( 27 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
deanarae
Aug. 10th, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
I find this poll insulting, and I challenge you to a duel!
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:48 pm (UTC)
I await the arrival of your seconds.
deanarae
Aug. 10th, 2007 04:32 pm (UTC)
I'll get right on it... just as soon as I figure out what that means.
stevegreen
Aug. 10th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC)
It's okay. I've just had lunch and I don't feel like seconds. You can have mine.
tx_cronopio
Aug. 10th, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
In your reasons for fighting a duel, you left out love/jealousy! Unless that's what you meant by pussy ;)
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:49 pm (UTC)
That may have been what I meant.
stevegreen
Aug. 10th, 2007 06:18 pm (UTC)
I thought you meant he insulted your cat.
oilyrags
Aug. 10th, 2007 01:45 pm (UTC)
Other - BARE HANDS!
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:50 pm (UTC)
Fists aren't bare hands?
hipsterdetritus
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
I think what he means is a slap duel.
oilyrags
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
They are - but bare hands includes karate chops and judo strangles as well. And I'd even include kicking and grappling techniques in there as well. You may mock the rear naked choke, so perhaps you'll be happier dying from it if I use the other name for that technique: mata leao - THE LIONSLAYER.
oilyrags
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:55 pm (UTC)
Anyway, is it too late to change my answer to waffle irons?
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 04:14 pm (UTC)
It's never too late for waffles.
steve_hicken
Aug. 10th, 2007 01:56 pm (UTC)
Other: mots, both bon AND juste.
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:50 pm (UTC)
How about Mott's applesauce?
subversivegrrl
Aug. 10th, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
Other: jai alai cestas. Don't laugh, that ball can kill!
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
After reading about the guys who shot at each other with blunderbusses from passing hot air balloons, I laugh at nothing.
cleotyne
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
other: teeth
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 03:54 pm (UTC)
SCARY CLOWN TEETH
tritium
Aug. 10th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)
Teeth as weapons, or challenging someone to a duel because of teeth? Because I'm pretty sure the second is how ODB died.
ludickid
Aug. 10th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)
One way or another, that guy's teeth were deadly weapons.
cleotyne
Aug. 11th, 2007 01:18 am (UTC)
The first, although the second is not unreasonable.
kudaspeaks
Aug. 10th, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)
How much would I not go to a teeth duel with you? Answer: many!
cleotyne
Aug. 11th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
AWWW COME ON!
roseyv
Aug. 10th, 2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
My preferred weapons would be sarcasm and verbal abuse. Also, I think there is nothing ridiculous about dueling over the pronunciation — or more accurately, the MISpronunciation of a word. Clarity in communication is very important, especially where it involves the use of sarcasm and verbal abuse. Finally, anyone who jostles my arm at the theatre is getting capped on sight — none of this faggy, lame-ass pistols at dawn crap. It’s the *theatre,* goddammit. Watch where you’re going! What were you, raised by wolves?
tritium
Aug. 10th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
I have no difficulty believing folks would duel to the death over the mispronunciation of a word. As a matter of fact, I think that were it socially acceptable, duels would be the natural ending point of many a Wikipedia edit war.
gillen
Aug. 11th, 2007 06:29 am (UTC)
I had to pick sharpened fencing sabres. I was four-year varsity at school. I have no interest in the contest being fair, I simply want to win it.
( 27 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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