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A list today is what you get

THINGS I HAVE BEEN DOING THE LAST FEW DAYS

1. Not sleeping

2. Working on an elaborate essay in which I argue that there is no logical deviance between a system based on pure libertarian economics and a system based on the rule of physical force

3. Drinking

4. Kicking around the vague notion of organizing a humor reading here in SATX (less of an attempt to get back into the lit scene than an attempt to transform this burg into someplace worth living, both of which are fool's errands), and becoming frustrated at the possibility of finding five or six other funny people who live here

5. Recognizing the self-flattering hypocrisy of the word "other" in the previous item

6. Filling all three holes on my new iPod

7. Organizing a posse of aging, ill-tempered boozefighters

8. Working on a bunch of freelance gigs and enjoying income from same while secretly hoping the work dries up for just a bit so I can finally work on one of my own projects for once in my goddamn life

9. Cooking things that end in vowels

10. Giving my cube-mate helpful suggestions on how to ruin her brother's wedding

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Comments

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oilyrags
Aug. 21st, 2007 02:37 pm (UTC)
> 6. Filling all three holes on my new iPod

Jeeze, whatever happened to lj communtity standards?
ludickid
Aug. 21st, 2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
They were banned during the great Harry Potter Rapefic purge of '07.
oilyrags
Aug. 21st, 2007 03:28 pm (UTC)
Isn't Jobs as litigious as Rowling, though?

Also - how much do you love that typo in my first response. Commune-titty. Huh-huh, huh-huh.
(Deleted comment)
ludickid
Aug. 21st, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
6. It gives you enormous personal fulfillment.

9. There are many things other than pasta that end in vowels. Risotto, paella, pizza, latke, burrito, to name but a few. Also, I reject this "needlessly fancy" business. My fancy is very needful.

10. Here are some suggestions:

- Get super-plowed starting at 9AM and hit on members of the wedding party of the same sex as you.

- When the priest asks if any have cause that these two should not be bound together as man and wife, say something, and see if they do anything about it.

- Invite a contingent of mentally ill homeless people. Tell them to sit on the "bride" side.

- Physically attack anyone who kisses or touches the bride all weekend, on the premise of protecting her purity for the wedding night. For example, when her father takes the first dance, knee him in the kidneys.

- Childishly mimic anything said at the ceremony.
ortho_bob
Aug. 21st, 2007 04:09 pm (UTC)
9. Also ice, sushi, yellow cake, moon pie, lettuce, cabbage, cheeto(s), headcheese, paste and glue.
zulkey
Aug. 21st, 2007 03:39 pm (UTC)
I think you should do a post on these suggestions b/c I have a wedding to ruin in 9 days
zulkey
Aug. 21st, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
make that 11, according to the official wedding website
ludickid
Aug. 21st, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC)
Another couple, just for you:

- Bribe the organist/band to play horrible, atonal noise throughout the ceremony

- Make out noisily with someone during the vows
ortho_bob
Aug. 21st, 2007 04:19 pm (UTC)
1. Have half a dozen strippers in wedding dresses turn up and perform during the ceremony. With hilarious consequences.

2. Fill the church to a depth of several feet with queso.

3. A melancholic cry of "I hope she doesn't stop doing porno now she's married" at any point during the service.

oilyrags
Aug. 21st, 2007 03:52 pm (UTC)
When the garter and bouquet are thrown, shoot them out of the air skeet-style.
perich
Aug. 21st, 2007 04:12 pm (UTC)
Working on an elaborate essay in which I argue that there is no logical deviance between a system based on pure libertarian economics and a system based on the rule of physical force

Haven't I read this essay before?
steve_hicken
Aug. 22nd, 2007 12:35 pm (UTC)
2. Working on an elaborate essay in which I argue that there is no logical deviance between a system based on pure libertarian economics and a system based on the rule of physical force

I've always thought that a libertarian paradise would require an unbelieveably massive police force.
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ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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PROPRIETOR

Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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