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Tasteful San Antonio: Motorin'

This morning on the way to work, I saw a somewhat dusty late-model BMW driven by a dude with two day's growth of beard, sunglasses, tousled hair, and a rumpled Oxford shirt listening to NYC hipster-rock. A typical Vice magazine reader is what he looked like. And he passed me, and I noticed on the back of his car, centered on the trunk, a red bumper sticker with white lettering that read:


Proud to be
WHITE



Now, I live in San Antonio. I am no stranger to the unsettlingly open nature of right-wing political discourse around these parts, driven by a strong military presence and a frightening number of ruthless German-Americans in positions of power. There is a guy right down the street from me, in the hippest college-town part of the city, whose big-ass truck is festooned with Jihad Watch stickers. But how does it happen that this guy's car is not under constant assault? I'd have keyed the shit out of it if I could, and I'm sort of white myself! How does it happen?

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Comments

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oilyrags
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:44 pm (UTC)
Why do you hate albinos, Leonard?
ludickid
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:45 pm (UTC)
They're just so smug.
oilyrags
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC)
PROUD TO BE WHOLE WHEAT
ludickid
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:18 pm (UTC)
You know I'm proud to be rye, y'all!
That's no lie, y'all!
A marbled motherfucker 'til the day I die, y'all!
lunchcat
Aug. 22nd, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
Maybe you'll see his wife's car tomorrow, the one with the bumper sticker that says "Proud to be married to an asshole." She'll be on her way to Wal-Mart.
ludickid
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:19 pm (UTC)
I can see her now. She is wearing pink sweat pants with "BITCH" written across the fanny in sparkly letters.
zulkey
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:02 pm (UTC)
was it barry white?
ludickid
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:23 pm (UTC)

This Barry White: black


This Barry White: also black

It's IRONIC! Or something.
lester22
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:04 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure you misread that bumper sticker, because I think I've seen that guy around. What it says is Proud to be WHITEN.

As in, Mark Whiten, late of the St. Louis Cardinals and one of the few men to hit 4 home runs in a game, also holder of the record for most RBI in a game with 12. Damn straight he's proud to be Whiten.
ludickid
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Mark Whiten would be driving a nicer car.
lester22
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:28 pm (UTC)
I dunno, outside of that one game in 1993, he didn't exactly have a stellar major league career. A dusty late-model BMW seems like it's right up his alley.
kudaspeaks
Aug. 22nd, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
A craft project
You need a Sharpie and an automobile. Use Sharpie to strike out the first and last letters of the last word of the sticker. Use the automobile to make the sticker's statement reality.
roseyv
Aug. 22nd, 2007 04:14 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I was gonna go with ironic but man, I don't know.

This morning I was watching Jon Stewart interview the guy who wrote the book about what the earth will be like when there are no more people on it and it was making all wistful and optimistic for the future.
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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