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#11.
DJ AAK: Enough of these comical fish-out-of-water assimilation scenarios. We need to get started on the mission.

MC BOY: I'M ON A SUBMARINE MISSION FOR YOU BABY BUT I GOT NO CLIZOO WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOOT

DJ AAK: You know, the mission we were sent here to perform. I assume it involves conquest or science or shopping or suchwise.

THE INTERNET: RTFM = Read The Fucking Manual

DJ AAK: I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means.

MC BOY: I HOPE THE OPPOSITE THING

#12.
DJ AAK: Dude, I got no idea what we're supposed to be doing. Did we get issued a manual or what?

MC BOY: BROOKLYN WHAT IS MY ANSWER

DJ AAK: You're the one who's supposed to be in charge of such things, according to the rules I made up.

MC BOY: AND WHICH I SUBSEQUENTLY LOST

DJ AAK: Oh, man, did you lose the mission statement?

MC BOY: NOW HOLD UP AND WAIT ONE MOMENTO, YOU ARE OFF BY MILES, DAVIS FOR I DID NOT LOSE NOTHING

DJ AAK: So where is it?

MC BOY: SEEK YE FIRST THE YELLOW FILE FOLDER WHERE I PUT THE DIRECTIONS FOR OUR BLENDER AND GEORGE FOUR MEN GRILL AND OUR MISSION SHALL REVEAL ITSELF THEREOF

#13.
DJ AAK: There are no mission instructions in this yellow file folder.

THE INTERNET: These letter-size hanging file folders measure 11 5/8" wide x 9 3/8" high. Both the inside and the outside of the folders are smooth. About 3 3/8" from the top, an embossed line runs horizontally across both sides of the folder.

DJ AAK: All that's in here is kitchen appliance registration cards and a court summons. Why do you have a court summons?

MC BOY: WHEN A MAN'S GOTTA GO A MAN'S GOTTA GO

MC BOY: IN A POLICE CAR

#14.
MC BOY: WHY DON'T YOU CALL THAT GUY WE WORK FOR IN THE FIRST STRIP AND ASK HIM WHAT WE ARE SPOCED TO BE DOING

DJ AAK: Oh, that's going to look really good, telling the boss that I forgot what my job is.

MC BOY: YOU HAVE CAREER AMBITIONS

DJ AAK: I'm not going to be a whatever I am forever.

THE INTERNET: How do you people do it? How do you simply come to accept that this will all come to an end, you don't know what the hell is going to happen, and that to be realistic it's a good chance that you're just going to be what you were before being conceived: absolutely nothing? I just don't get it. And the worst part is that really, my life's probably only about 1/4 complete. I don't dare try to guess the state I'll be in when I hit 50.

DJ AAK: I hope someday, for example, to write a memo.

#15.
DJ AAK: Memorandum. From: the girl. To: Boss Alien. Re: Mission statement.

THE INTERNET: You can send a delegate in your place, if the person is capable of making decisions and can assume action items. Let the leader know you're sending a delegate in your stead. If that's not possible, consider asking to report first, if you have another meeting and need to depart in a timely manner. Can someone tape-record the meeting for you to listen to in your car?

DJ AAK: Mission goes extremely well so far. Express no surprise when total strangers nominate us for various awards.

THE INTERNET: It is a costly mistake to get lost in the false theory that more money equals happy employees. Believing this is costing you valuable time, revenue, employees...and even threatening your own job.

DJ AAK: Hey here is a fun game that I thought of. You write down exactly what our mission is and send to me, and I will make funny words out of the letters in our job description.

MC BOY: DID YOU TELL HIM

DJ AAK: The other one would like you to know that he can point at both ends of his intestines at the same time.

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Comments

( 3 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
lester22
Aug. 31st, 2007 04:10 pm (UTC)
I love this.

I have to say, and please don't shoot me for this, I can't help but picture these two guys as Emory and Oglethorpe from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. WHICH IS WHY YOU NEED TO START DRAWING THIS SHIT, YO.
scottvond
Aug. 31st, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC)
I'm picturing PiniellaTailOnTheDonkey as MC BOY.
ludickid
Aug. 31st, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC)
The idea of a North Korean Lou Piniella is, if anything, even more terrifying.
( 3 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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