Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Why am I in a ladies' jail? I'm a man!

1. Another long weekend come and gone and I'm still not a millionaire playboy. Bruce Wayne makes it look so easy.

2. It has been brought to my attention that sometimes verging on frequently, I am a whiny jerk who mistreats people who are my friends. Sorry about that!

3. Speaking of sorry, my mental heath care practitioner, who is not an annoying pillhead like my last one but still weighs a little heavy on the twelve-step stuff, has often stressed the importance of offering amends to those I have wronged. Unfortunately, sometimes these amends are not accepted. He says this is not important, and that the important thing is to make them in all sincerity. I crave closure, though, so I have decided to follow up my amends by shooting people with a crossbow. I feel I am entering and exciting new phase in my therapy.

4. I have picked up an interesting and potentially lucrative freelance assignment. However, I cannot get too excited about it, because I am settling accounts with prior freelance gigs that still owe me money. I may pay a consulting fee to Willie D. to come up with alternative ways of saying "eat a dick" in my correspondence.

5. Three days past and not a single comment about how much you all miss "The Adventures of Internet starring Outer Space North Koreans MC Boy and DJ Aak". Sometimes I feel I scarcely know you people.
Tags: junk

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