Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

I labored too much on Labor Day

The Monday Poll waits for nothing. Well, I guess it waits for Tuesday.

Poll #1049852 Get back to work, you

I am approaching 40, and a number of my life goals are unfulfilled. Perhaps if I focus on just one, I can achieve it. Which one should it be?

Becoming a billionaire
2(3.2%)
Writing the great American novel
9(14.3%)
Marrying Uma Thurman
5(7.9%)
Bringing about global peace and harmony
1(1.6%)
Exacting a terrible revenge on all who have wronged me
6(9.5%)
Getting a good night's sleep
6(9.5%)
Building a time machine in order to win bar bets
3(4.8%)
Taking a dump in all fifty states
14(22.2%)
Writing a cult TV show that is cancelled after two seasons
14(22.2%)
Coming up with a better set of life goals
3(4.8%)

What are your child substitutes?

my pet(s)
11(18.3%)
expensive electronics
5(8.3%)
an imaginary friend
3(5.0%)
my actual child/children
8(13.3%)
someone else's actual child/children
1(1.7%)
a midget or dwarf
0(0.0%)
Star Trek
1(1.7%)
V.I.C.K.I.
0(0.0%)
the American people
5(8.3%)
other (see Comments)
2(3.3%)

What do I have to do (oh, tell me now) to prove my love to you?

do anything
4(6.3%)
do it all
0(0.0%)
climb a mountain
4(6.3%)
cross the ocean
3(4.8%)
do it all for you
6(9.5%)
stop quoting Violent Femmes lyrics
20(31.7%)
a little foreplay would be nice
18(28.6%)
you're gay, Leonard
8(12.7%)

Which of the following presidential candidates could you defeat in a fistfight?

"Joltin'" Joe Biden
0(0.0%)
"The Tower of Power" Hilary Clinton
3(4.9%)
John "The Hammerin' Haircut" Edwards
0(0.0%)
Dennis "Equitability is My Watchword" Kucinich
2(3.3%)
Barack "Barack-'em Sock-'em" Obama
0(0.0%)
Mike "Gravel Pit" Gravel
0(0.0%)
Bill "Opponent" Richardson
0(0.0%)
"Slammin'" Sam Brownback
0(0.0%)
"Greasy" Mitt Romney
1(1.6%)
Rudy "Giuliani Time" Giuliani
1(1.6%)
Mike "Heart" Huckabee
0(0.0%)
Fred "Dalton" Thompson
0(0.0%)
John "Straight Talk Express" McCain
0(0.0%)
Ron "Two First Names" Paul
0(0.0%)
all of these precancerous old geezers could take me
15(24.6%)

The past is like a foreign country, because...

Tags: polls
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 21 comments

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…