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Terrorshop Tuesday

All right, y'all. I'm about to call upon you to do the most important thing you have ever done, so pay attention.

I was recently made aware that former child star/Mormon singing zombie Marie Osmond has unleashed upon the helpless Earth a gaggle of unholy homonculi in the form of a line of dolls that will just creep your shit right out if you have one fiber of decency left in your decayed, precancerous frame. Easily the most dreadful emanation from a Christian former television personality of the late 1970s since Lisa Whelchel (Blair from TV's Facts of Life) and her terrifying homeschool discipline blog, the doll collection also features something I will see pursuing me in my nightmares for the next hundred lifetimes:





Yes, it's Baby Donny, a horrific representation of Marie's brother as a toddler just prior to some soul-shattering, knife-wielding psychotic episode.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and you damn well better): PHOTOSHOP THAT SCARY FUCKER.

Think of it as a Something Awful Photoshop Phriday, only on my LiveJournal, an on Tuesday, and funnier. If you have any .PSD skills at all -- shit, even if you don't -- mess around with that picture. Put him in movie stills. Put him in ads. Put him in historical situations. Put him on album covers, as did hipsterdetritus with memorable results. Do anything you want -- just make it funny, and do it often so as to in some way alleviate the life-killing horror I experienced when first gazing upon that dead plastic visage. Post your results in Comments, and let's us laff the day away, at the expense of the truly deserving Osmond family.

THIS IS WHY GOD INVENTED COMPUTERS, people, this right here, so let's make him proud. Get to work, and make it something you'll want to scare your grandkids with.

Comments

( 30 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
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ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 01:02 pm (UTC)
BY THE WAY
Nate's first reaction on my finding this was "I keep picturing that photo flashing rapidly between regular and negative image as that opening theremin/synth riff from 'Crazy Horses' plays in an eternal loop."

If anyone can make this happen -- and I can get you the Osmond Family's bewildering stab at punk rock, no problem -- I WILL PAYPAL YOU FIVE DOLLARS RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
tritium
Sep. 25th, 2007 01:32 pm (UTC)
Re: BY THE WAY
Sounds like a job for ytmnd.com.
calamityjon
Sep. 25th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC)
calamityjon
Sep. 25th, 2007 03:08 pm (UTC)
BLANK - ludickid - Sep. 25th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - ludickid - Sep. 25th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
ortho_bob
Sep. 25th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
I would but I've forgotten the passwords and usernames for all the photo hosting sites I've signed up for over the years.
ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
Man, just e-mail the shit to me, I'll host it.
hipsterdetritus
Sep. 25th, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
This is the aforementioned album cover, though to be honest it was a second choice since I couldn't find a large enough scan of What Makes a Man Start Fires?

ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
I love that one. If anything, it's even more unnerving than the original.
ortho_bob
Sep. 25th, 2007 04:08 pm (UTC)

Hardly worth the cut'n'paste.
hipsterdetritus
Sep. 25th, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
Seriously, I'm starting to get a Brothers Quay vibe from some of this.
ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 04:55 pm (UTC)
Why, here's one from Ludic Log fan Amy Huston!

ortho_bob
Sep. 25th, 2007 05:27 pm (UTC)


ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 06:16 pm (UTC)
A+!
(Deleted comment)
ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 06:30 pm (UTC)
Re: Erm, this one with pictures
Oh, man, that first one, oh man.

It takes some real practice before a life soaked in booze brings you joy instead of pain. Keep at it, is my advice, and maybe mix in a little weed.
roninspoon
Sep. 25th, 2007 07:08 pm (UTC)
ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 07:26 pm (UTC)
Ha ha, izzat "America's Teenager"?
BLANK - roninspoon - Sep. 25th, 2007 07:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
roninspoon
Sep. 25th, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
roninspoon
Sep. 25th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)
ludickid
Sep. 25th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
META!
(Deleted comment)
ludickid
Sep. 26th, 2007 04:05 am (UTC)
Re: One more
YAAAAAA
Re: One more - hipsterdetritus - Sep. 26th, 2007 02:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
oilyrags
Sep. 26th, 2007 12:12 am (UTC)
ludickid
Sep. 26th, 2007 04:06 am (UTC)
You're a bad man, Austin Swinburne.
BLANK - oilyrags - Sep. 26th, 2007 03:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - blue_straggler - Sep. 26th, 2007 01:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
blue_straggler
Sep. 26th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)


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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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