I was recently made aware that former child star/Mormon singing zombie Marie Osmond has unleashed upon the helpless Earth a gaggle of unholy homonculi in the form of a line of dolls that will just creep your shit right out if you have one fiber of decency left in your decayed, precancerous frame. Easily the most dreadful emanation from a Christian former television personality of the late 1970s since Lisa Whelchel (Blair from TV's Facts of Life) and her terrifying homeschool discipline blog, the doll collection also features something I will see pursuing me in my nightmares for the next hundred lifetimes:
Yes, it's Baby Donny, a horrific representation of Marie's brother as a toddler just prior to some soul-shattering, knife-wielding psychotic episode.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and you damn well better): PHOTOSHOP THAT SCARY FUCKER.
Think of it as a Something Awful Photoshop Phriday, only on my LiveJournal, an on Tuesday, and funnier. If you have any .PSD skills at all -- shit, even if you don't -- mess around with that picture. Put him in movie stills. Put him in ads. Put him in historical situations. Put him on album covers, as did hipsterdetritus with memorable results. Do anything you want -- just make it funny, and do it often so as to in some way alleviate the life-killing horror I experienced when first gazing upon that dead plastic visage. Post your results in Comments, and let's us laff the day away, at the expense of the truly deserving Osmond family.
THIS IS WHY GOD INVENTED COMPUTERS, people, this right here, so let's make him proud. Get to work, and make it something you'll want to scare your grandkids with.