Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

I wet myself! I wet myself! President Bush, I wet myself!

In my ongoing quest to make everyone vomit first thing in the morning, here's some excerpts from a Wall Street Journal article by yet another suburban soccer mom who gets all stinky when she thinks of how rich and powerful handsome and virile the President is.

I WOULD HAVE WATCHED THE REST BUT I HAD TO GO TO A DINNER PARTY

"I had the most astonishing thought last Thursday. After a long day of hauling the kids to playdates and ballet, I turned on the news. And there was the president, landing on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln, stepping out of a fighter jet in that amazing uniform, looking--how to put it?--really hot. Also presidential, of course. Not to mention credible as commander in chief. But mostly 'hot,' as in virile, sexy and powerful."

NEW YORK MEN EFFEMINATE SISSYS, NOT LIKE PEOPLE IN THE STICKS. OR SO I HEAR, SINCE I WOULDN'T BE SEEN IN OMAHA FOR A MILLION DOLLARS

"You don't see a lot of that in my neighborhood, the Upper West Side of Manhattan. (I'm told there's more of it in the "red" states.)"

ANOTHER OF MY RICH FRIENDS ALSO PROBABLY A LIBERAL, I WOULDN'T KNOW; I'M TOO BUSY 'JUST HAPPENING' TO CARRY AROUND STROKE MATERIAL TO ASK

"At my daughter's East Side school, my friend Emily, a mother of two and probably a liberal, examined the picture of the president in his fly-boy gear that I just happened to have in my purse. She looked carefully, grinned and said, 'He's a hottie. No doubt about it. Really a hottie.'"

ALL MY FRIENDS AND I ENJOY MASTURBATING OVER THE BALDING, CHIMPLIKE MAN

"Alexandra, an unmarried event planner in her 30s, e-mailed: 'Hot? SO HOT!!!!! THAT UNIFORM!'"

SURE, HE'S NEVER GOTTEN WITHIN 2000 MILES OF THE COUNTRY WE DECLARED WAR ON, AND THEY NEVER ACTUALLY THREATENED US IN ANY WAY, AND YET I STILL FEEL HE'S PERSONALLY PROTECTING US

"In a more restrained way, my friend Maggie, a writer/mom, explained: 'I think he is actually protecting me and my sons, and I find that attractive in a man.'"

YOU KNOW IT'S CREDIBLE WHEN IT COMES FROM A BIOGRAPHER NAMED SUZI

"Suzi, who did her mom time and now writes biographies, also began with restraint. I asked, casually, what she thought about President Bush. She answered, carefully, 'He's so confident. He is a very credible, trustworthy leader.' 'Yeah,' I pursue, 'but do you think he's sexy?' 'Oh God, yes,' she said. 'I mean, that swagger. George Bush in a pair of jeans is a treat to watch.'

FOOLISH LIBERALS LIKE SMART PEOPLE

"Back on the West Side, among the liberals I live surrounded by, there was dissent. Many of them still cite Bill Clinton and his allegedly penetrating intellect as more appealing. Liberals make such a fetish of intellect."
Tags: news, politics
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 4 comments