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JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

Another Monday, another Monday poll

What better way to slide back into routine than with another asinine poll?

Poll #1064151 Fairness in Polling

What did the letters in President Ford's "WIN" initiative stand for?

Whip Inflation Now
13(22.8%)
Wizard In Nutria
1(1.8%)
We Inspire Nonsense
2(3.5%)
Weather Information Network
0(0.0%)
Western Initiative for Neocolonialism
0(0.0%)
West Is North
2(3.5%)
Why Include Nixon?
1(1.8%)
West Indian Nation
0(0.0%)
Win-(w)in-(wi)n
4(7.0%)
Well I Never
11(19.3%)
Worsening Illness News
1(1.8%)
Whack Indira's Nose
0(0.0%)
Ford Can't Spell
2(3.5%)
It didn't stand for anything, it was just a general exhortation to acheive
4(7.0%)
Isn't it about, oh, 33 years too late for WIN jokes?
16(28.1%)

Which of the following fair foods would you eat if given the opportunity?

fried banana pudding
0(0.0%)
deep-fried Frito chili pie
0(0.0%)
fried latte
0(0.0%)
fried Coca-Cola
0(0.0%)
alligator sausage
0(0.0%)
pork chop on a stick
0(0.0%)
peach cobbler on a stick
0(0.0%)
tater twist with melted blue cheese
2(3.5%)
cajun fried okra
1(1.8%)
big ol' turkey leg
0(0.0%)
donkey tail
0(0.0%)
deep fried guacamole bites
0(0.0%)
fried pickle
1(1.8%)
tamale balls
0(0.0%)
I think I'd rather just shoot myself, thanks
3(5.3%)

Which "Metalocalypse" character are you?

I am like Nathan Explosion, because I am an incoherent alcoholic
7(14.6%)
I am like Skwisgaar Skwigelf, because no one knows what I am talking about and all I can think of is guitars
10(20.8%)
I am like Toki Wartooth, because I am childlike and have a bad mustache and people mock me
12(25.0%)
I am like William Murderface, because I am a sociopath with a speech impediment
3(6.2%)
I am like Pickles, because I used to front a glam-rock bank from Wisconsin
16(33.3%)

I sang out loud the entire drive from Dallas to San Antonio. Is this crazy?

It's crazy.
5(9.1%)
It's not crazy.
38(69.1%)
It's not crazy, but it's stupid.
5(9.1%)
It's not crazy, but it's stupid AND lame.
3(5.5%)
I will never, ever stop making fun of you for this.
4(7.3%)

If you were trying to convince alien warlords to eradicate all life on Earth, what would be your Exhibit A?

Comments

( 8 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
marciamarcia
Oct. 1st, 2007 03:40 pm (UTC)
not enough room for my response...
I'm assuming that we aren't talking about educated, liberal alien warlords who enjoy good books, coffee, and reproductive freedoms. So, if I were trying to turn their homicidal intentions toward Earth, I'd set about convincing them that we have a warlord or two who could pose a potential threat to the alien warlords' galactic supremacy.

In which case, my exhibit A would probably be Dick Cheney, whom I would present as the leader of an Earth-based warlord cabal composed of every other violent, bastardly leader on the planet.

With any luck, the aliens would rid us of both the Bush administration AND Osama bin Laden.

With my luck, the aliens would hire all of them.
defconqueso
Oct. 1st, 2007 05:51 pm (UTC)
Glam-rock banks give the best rate of return on their CDs.
elston
Oct. 1st, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC)
Just make sure you're insured, after so many lost their savings in the great hair metal savings and loan crisis of the late 1980s.
crepedelbebe
Oct. 1st, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
I sing all the time in the car. In fact, I've been known to drive further than necessary in order to continue singing in the car.
ludickid
Oct. 1st, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
I KNOW, RIGHT? If the song ain't over, I'll circle the block a time or two.
hipsterdetritus
Oct. 1st, 2007 07:58 pm (UTC)
Now I'm mad I chose Nickelback for my justify-our-annihilation scenario since I just realized, hey, Snopes.
happinesstogo
Oct. 2nd, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
Sometimes when I'm travelling around rural Arizona for work in a crappy car (not my own) and the radio doesn't work out in the middle of the desert, I'll try to sing entire albums in order. There are only a couple I think I can do. It's also fun to try to sing all the songs I know. That can kill a lot of time.
roseyv
Oct. 3rd, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC)
None of your answers satisfied me, and so I have crafted my own:

1. I actually preferred the interpretation where you turned it upside down so it meant “No Immediate Miracles.” I can’t remember whose idea that was.

2. I would like to try Fried Jello.

3. I don’t understand your CRQZYM MOON LANGUAEGWE!!!!

4. I think it’s rather sweet and would probably have sung along with you, except you probably would have been singing aloud to those crazy hip-rap songs you young people today sing, that I don’t know the words to.

5. I would not try to convince anyone to wipe out life on Earth. Certain very specific representative examples of it, perhaps, yes. But not all life as we know it.
( 8 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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