Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

(insert guitar solo from "Sunshine of Your Love")

So I have this subscription, as I have mentioned, to the San Antonio Freecycle mailing list. But all that is ever offered on it is junk, so I don't get a lot of use out of it. (I mean, honestly. Expired coupons? What on Earth is one meant to do with that?)

However, I have developed, in my apparently copious free time, little narratives around the people who post on it regularly. I mean, what vast human tragedy is contained in these three subsequent postings by "kiddosontheway"?

OFFER: boy's clothing and shoes
OFFER: variety of toys (suitable for 8-year-old boy)
WANTED: knitting supplies and books


To my surprise, the package of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish snack crackers I purchased for lunch a few days ago has a Mad Lib on the back of it.

Finny, Xtreme and Brooke were playing hide and (VERB). Xtreme, who has more (FOOD) than he can handle, hid in the (NOUN). Finn and Brooke looked for him under the (NOUN) and in the (NOUN).

"(EXCLAMATION)!" They heard Xtreme yell. "This is so (ADJECTIVE)!" Finn and Brooke (PAST TENSE VERB) to find Xtreme -- only to find him (PAST TENSE VERB) with a (TOY).

"Xtreme, you sure are (ADJECTIVE)", laughed Finn and Brooke.

My Friday afternoon challenge: make this funny without implying that Finn, Brooke and Xtreme are some kind of deranged sodomists.

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • America the Impossible

    Today is the Fourth of July, America’s national holiday.  Longtime readers of this site will know that every day on this year, I post a little…

  • Deep Reads #6: Forces in the Field

    From  The Trouble with Principle by Stanley Fish: “Many bad things are now being done in the name of neutral principles, and I hope it is…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.