Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Months are for pussies

ATTENTION NATIONAL NOVEL-WRITING MONTH PARTICIPANTS:

You are weak. You are wack. You are sissy soft suckas. You are counterrevolutionary hoarders, chumps, and whining mongrel filth of the first order.

I, on the other hand, am the Duke of New York; I am A-Number-One. There is only one way to redeem yourself: TAKE MY CHALLENGE!

Spending an entire month on writing a novel is for cowards, Fabians and degenerates. It is for those without the courage of their half-formed convictions. I hereby declare this to be NATIONAL NOVEL-WRITING DAY!

Anyone who cannot write a 50,000-word novel of superior quality within 24 hours does not deserve to be called a writer, or, indeed, a human being. I expect each of you to post, in your journal, a completed novel of no less than the abovementioned length by midnight tonight. Perhaps you will seek a shortcut, by posting your “novel-in-progress”, or some variety of five-word micro-novel or the like; to this I say, there is no shame in failure, unless you consider humiliation, degradation and the knowledge that your literary impotence has been fully exposed to all your peers to be shameful.

You have your task. Waste no further time.
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  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…