When attending a fun fair, it is very important to obey God’s commandments, so the Texas State Fair has put up a huge monument to remind us of that fact. solipsiae counts off how many of the commandments she broke this morning.
Elsie, the Borden cow. She is, as they say, very contented; she has more fresh-faced teenaged girl attendants than Carson Daly, and her life is insured for more money than I’ll make in a decade.
This carnival barker dispensed info about the fair and macked on all the lay-teez, despite the hindrance of having only an upper torso. Angie was so freaked out by him that she would not ask him for directions to the deep-fried guacamole stand. I believe he possessed eerie powers.
Do not mock Big Tex’s mechanical hiney. He got that defending you lazy bastards against the ravenous hordes of gopped-up Mexicans. Note: Big Tex uses and endorses Wrangler™ brand jeans.
This is my favorite restaurant in Dallas, even though I have never eaten there and never will. Because, really, what reminds you more of delicious egg rolls than a huge soft-serve ice cream cone?
Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.