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Who would look at these? Crazy people.

I took a few photos when I went to the Texas State Fair a couple months back. Then I forgot to post them. Here they are.

When attending a fun fair, it is very important to obey God’s commandments, so the Texas State Fair has put up a huge monument to remind us of that fact. solipsiae counts off how many of the commandments she broke this morning.

Elsie, the Borden cow. She is, as they say, very contented; she has more fresh-faced teenaged girl attendants than Carson Daly, and her life is insured for more money than I’ll make in a decade.

This carnival barker dispensed info about the fair and macked on all the lay-teez, despite the hindrance of having only an upper torso. Angie was so freaked out by him that she would not ask him for directions to the deep-fried guacamole stand. I believe he possessed eerie powers.

Do not mock Big Tex’s mechanical hiney. He got that defending you lazy bastards against the ravenous hordes of gopped-up Mexicans. Note: Big Tex uses and endorses Wrangler™ brand jeans.

This is my favorite restaurant in Dallas, even though I have never eaten there and never will. Because, really, what reminds you more of delicious egg rolls than a huge soft-serve ice cream cone?

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Comments

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hipsterdetritus
Nov. 7th, 2007 05:26 pm (UTC)
What in blazes is up with Torsoman? Is that some creepy animatronic deal, a person in some sort of magic special effects box, or an actual man without 75% of his important vital internal organs?
kudaspeaks
Nov. 7th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC)
roseyv
Nov. 7th, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)
Elsie!

That cow looks so sweet and so soft. I want to pet her.
happinesstogo
Nov. 8th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
I don't know much about cows, so I'm wondering if they had to do something to Elsie to get her horns to grow in what looks to me like a strange, unnatural pattern.

I like that your friend is wearing cowboy boots to the Texas State Fair. It's just so perfect.

The photo of the egg roll cone place cracks my shite up.
solipsiae
Nov. 12th, 2007 06:30 pm (UTC)
fun fact about my boots
I have owned these very boots since I was in the 3rd grade. My parents bought them for me when I went to my first sleepaway camp, Snow Mountain Camp, which told us we needed cowboy boots for the horse-riding. I still fit into them today, which means they were either bought very large for me at my age, or that I still have some child-like proportions. Since I can't wear most adult-sized hats and usually fit into child-sized hats, I'm guessing it's the latter.

Also, I'd forgotten you'd even taken pictures, Leo! Did you ever eat that Dr. Pepper beef jerky? If so, was it tasty or retch-worthy?

also YOU'RE COMING DOWN AGAIN THIS WEEKEND! WOOOOO!
happinesstogo
Nov. 12th, 2007 07:05 pm (UTC)
Re: fun fact about my boots
Wow! Third grade! Those must be some hardy boots. I live in Arizona and I've thought of getting some cowboy boots for myself, but always think I wouldn't really have anyplace to wear them. Now I know I could wear them to the fair, I guess.
ludickid
Nov. 12th, 2007 08:25 pm (UTC)
Re: fun fact about my boots
The Dr. Pepper beef jerky, to my surprise, tasted just like regular beef jerky and nothing at all like Dr. Pepper. It wasn't bad, it's just that its interaction with Dr. Pepper seemed to begin and end with the label.
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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

PROPRIETOR

Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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