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So, who doesn’t love our awesome democratic ally, Pakistan? A shining beacon to Muslim countries everywhere, it’s so democratic that you can vote sometimes, as long as it’s for the dictator who seized power in a military coup, and hey, who doesn’t want to imprison all the lawyers anyway, ho ho ho? In keeping with our policy of invading any country filled with radical Islamist zealots that might possibly develop nuclear weapons someday, we have left Pakistan absolutely the fuck alone, because they already have nuclear weapons. Thus it is that they have been elevated, despite the presence of a brutal dictator and cadres of howling, anti-American religious fanatics, from “candidate for regime change” to “valuable ally in the war on terror”.

Anyway, things have been a bit, well, whoopsy-daisy in Pakistan lately. Authoritarian dictator Democratically elected leader Pervez “Perv” Musharraf has decided that, since there is the possibility that the Supreme Court might find his recent election win unconstitutional, the best thing to do is to get rid of all the members of the court who might rule against him and replace them with pliable jurists who are his ideological allies. Where he got an idea like that, we may never know, but the upshot of it is that he’s imposed martial law, rolled back Constitutional freedoms, and started locking up his political enemies.

Condi Rice is said to be “disappointed” in this result, in an oh-you-lovable-scamp sort of way, and President Bush has apparently located enough shame to actually make a few comments about his great friend Perv’s most recent slide into fascism. The thing is, it’s President Bush, and so his comments made no fucking sense.

After a few stumbling incoherencies about how much he pretends to love democracy, the Prez urges Perv to “take off his uniform”, which he doesn’t mean in a ‘hey, Captain Sexy, why don’t you take me in for some deep questioning’ way, but rather in a ‘you’re the head of the government, quit pretending you’re a war hero’ way. Good advice!

The President then goes on to warn Musharraf that “You can’t be president and head of the military at the same time”.

Let me repeat that, just in case its impact is unclear: the President – of the United States – told a foreign leader that you can’t be president and head of the military at the same time.

In other world news, worms continued to pick away at the nearly-stripped bones of irony (470 B.C.-2001 A.D.).


Nov. 8th, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I couldn't believe that quote, when I saw it. Ridiculous.
Nov. 8th, 2007 04:47 pm (UTC)
Bush's middle name is DAISNAID, you know.
Nov. 8th, 2007 05:08 pm (UTC)
I've said for a while that the slogan of the modern conservative movement should be "But when we do it, it's cute!"
Nov. 8th, 2007 05:06 pm (UTC)
I laughed REALLY hard when i heard that on the ride home yesterday. That's gold.
Nov. 8th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
You're the second person in two days who has expressed disbelief/frustration/outrage of that quote within earshot of me, and I'll tell you the same thing I told the addled Canadian who did it the first time:

It's DIFFERENT when we do it! We're Americans.

We're good.
Nov. 8th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
One thing-- and the problem is, I'm having trouble finding a source that indicates if it's a requirement or just tradition-- is that US Presidents who have held a military rank have left it before running for president. Also, note this Hamilton quote:

"The President is to be commander-in-chief of the army and navy of the United States. [...] It would amount to nothing more than the supreme command and direction of the military and naval forces [...] while that [the power] of the British king extends to the DECLARING of war and to the RAISING and REGULATING of fleets and armies, all [of] which [...] would appertain to the legislature."

I think the intent behind Bush's comment was that as Musharraf is both the President of Pakistan and a standing general in the army, he's concentrating executive power too strongly, but given W's usual thinking process and actions it effectively came out as "DUUURRRRR."


flavored with age
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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