Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Does...does this guy even know what he does for a living?

So, who doesn’t love our awesome democratic ally, Pakistan? A shining beacon to Muslim countries everywhere, it’s so democratic that you can vote sometimes, as long as it’s for the dictator who seized power in a military coup, and hey, who doesn’t want to imprison all the lawyers anyway, ho ho ho? In keeping with our policy of invading any country filled with radical Islamist zealots that might possibly develop nuclear weapons someday, we have left Pakistan absolutely the fuck alone, because they already have nuclear weapons. Thus it is that they have been elevated, despite the presence of a brutal dictator and cadres of howling, anti-American religious fanatics, from “candidate for regime change” to “valuable ally in the war on terror”.

Anyway, things have been a bit, well, whoopsy-daisy in Pakistan lately. Authoritarian dictator Democratically elected leader Pervez “Perv” Musharraf has decided that, since there is the possibility that the Supreme Court might find his recent election win unconstitutional, the best thing to do is to get rid of all the members of the court who might rule against him and replace them with pliable jurists who are his ideological allies. Where he got an idea like that, we may never know, but the upshot of it is that he’s imposed martial law, rolled back Constitutional freedoms, and started locking up his political enemies.

Condi Rice is said to be “disappointed” in this result, in an oh-you-lovable-scamp sort of way, and President Bush has apparently located enough shame to actually make a few comments about his great friend Perv’s most recent slide into fascism. The thing is, it’s President Bush, and so his comments made no fucking sense.

After a few stumbling incoherencies about how much he pretends to love democracy, the Prez urges Perv to “take off his uniform”, which he doesn’t mean in a ‘hey, Captain Sexy, why don’t you take me in for some deep questioning’ way, but rather in a ‘you’re the head of the government, quit pretending you’re a war hero’ way. Good advice!

The President then goes on to warn Musharraf that “You can’t be president and head of the military at the same time”.

Let me repeat that, just in case its impact is unclear: the President – of the United States – told a foreign leader that you can’t be president and head of the military at the same time.

In other world news, worms continued to pick away at the nearly-stripped bones of irony (470 B.C.-2001 A.D.).

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.