Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

He's Unemployed, I'm Bored. Together We Are...THE ORIGINAL ODD COUPLE!

calamityjon: Forbes.com is running an article on "The 20 Most Intriguing Billionnaire Heiresses".
ludickid: Am I on it?
calamityjon: I'll check
calamityjon: Man, what a delightfully 1920s kind of article concept...
ludickid: Well, these are the people who bring you the 'world's richest' wankfest every year. I wish I could say I was surprised that they could FIND 20 billionaire heiresses…
ludickid: Although I bet the Forbes editors may have a different definition of "intriguing" than you and I
calamityjon: I'm pretty sure they just mean "adequately hot."
ludickid: Boy, I...
ludickid: I mean, I don't wanna be one of those "Yuck, Britney Spears, that fat pig" guys, but...there's some serious inbreeding in some of those faces.
calamityjon: Dude, the comments, the comments. "Two heiresses on the list are vying for spots on America's 2008 Olympic team for show jumping." He's using that as an example of how GREAT dilettantes are... WE GOTTA GET BACK THE SHOWJUMPING GOLD
ludickid: I remember this article about Bloomberg's daughter, right, about how she was this amazingly wonderful philanthropist, second only to Mother Theresa, because...SHE STARTED A CHARITY TO HELP UNDERPRIVELEGED KIDS LEARN EQUESTRIAN SKILLS.
calamityjon: BONGGGG
ludickid: Hey, that's SUPER USEFUL! How about we teach them how to use a lance while we're at it? Or how to illuminate a holy text? Maybe, I dunno, how to find a goddamn apartment, after they're done showjumping
calamityjon: It'll come in handy when Batman deputizes all of 'em in Gotham's post apocalyptic future
ludickid: "No need to train me, Bats! I took one of Georgina Bloomberg's classes!"
ludickid: "Then I went home and ate roaches."
ludickid: This fall the passionate equestrian reportedly began working in one of the Bershka fashion stores, stocking shelves and assisting customers while learning the basics of running a mammoth fashion empire.
calamityjon: "reportedly?"
ludickid: Step 1: have your father own the mammoth fashion empire.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: PROFITS!
calamityjon: Aw man, you didn't ...
ludickid: Sorry, man, all the Yakov Smirnoff references are getting to me
calamityjon: See, don't mention the guy's name , he's like Bloody Mary or Candyman. You say Yakov Smirnoff three times, he appears, and is full of bees. BUT IN SOVIET RUSSIA, BEES ARE gnyarrrr gnyarrr
ludickid: I love how much born-on-third-base-thinking-they-hit-a-triple stuff there is on that list. There's all these mentions of their 'accomplishments', like "VP of Blah Blah Company Her Father Owns" or "Marketing Director of Successful Company She Founded With Her Father's Money", WAY TO EARN IT, girls!
ludickid: The daughter of Formula One founder Bernie Ecclestone is an aspiring TV personality.
ludickid: God, I hope she makes it. It'll be such an uphill struggle, but...
calamityjon: There's such a bias in modern day America though, you know? TV stations are all so eager to hire Hispanic and Asian women and leave these poor penniless blonde girls out in the cold.
ludickid: It's true.
calamityjon: I mean, look at all the brunettes on network TV!
ludickid: It's almost impossible for an incredibly wealthy, attractive young blonde woman to make a career for herself.
calamityjon: Katie Couric has dead eyes, just like an Asian hooker, so she's practically a minority.
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  • 18 comments

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…