#1: I ask people to pick their favorite right-wing crazy for immortalization on "Profiles in Bullshit".
#2: I ask people to rewrite popular culture and make it better.
#3: I make fun of a right-wing blogger's homoerotic fantasies about an invisible Viking.
#1: That goddamn interview meme, again.
#2: I invent a bunch of mixed drinks and/or dance crazes and assign them to you in more or less random order.
#3: I make fun of hysterical conservative paranoia about the notorious Mooninite terror attack on Boston.
#1: I conduct a poll in which people select the greatest greatest of all times of all times.
#2: I post photos of my hideous visage and solicit requests for a photo entry I never get around to doing.
#3: I ask people to give me a new name because my current, actual name is boring.
#1: I attempt to be cheerful and optimistic for an entire day, with terrifying results.
#2: In a discussion about gun control, I alienate and anger absolutely everyone.
#3: I expose you all to angry white conservatives discussing rap music.
#1: I scientifically prove that Billy Joel sucks worse than any other rock performer ever.
#2: Jerry Falwell dies and everyone is happy.
#3: I attempt to settle eternal conflicts once and for all, and everyone annoys me by not getting into huge, angry, pointless fights.
#1: I once again piss off everybody with my stubborn responses to a long-forgotten poll.
#2: Through the miracle of Wikigroaning, we are all friends again.
#3: Dennis 'My Son Has a Black Friend' Prager claims that being falsely accused of rape is worse than being raped.
#1: People tell their tales of eBay excess, which turn out to be pretty boring.
#2: Pop song limericks give you all a chance to be clever dicks.
#3: Leonard's 'Summer of Boredom' drags on as a meaningless poll generates furry controversy.
#1: I offer my services as a semi-professional music writer as people ask me lots of fun questions about rock 'n' roll.
#2: I offer my services as a strictly amateur face-puncher as people ask me lots of depressing questions about violence.
#3: I read a book on dueling and pass some of the more interesting tidbits on to you.
#1: Heresies Week reaches a fevered climax as everyone and their cousin has something daring to say about TV and movies.
#2: Heresies Week kicks off with a thread devoted to unpopular opinions about food.
#3: Heresies Week rolls on, this time with music as the target.
#1: My request for people to provide an example of something that is both the most popular and best thing of its type is widely misunderstood.
#2: A nightclub in San Antonio tries to keep out the darkies, and you all provide helpful tips as to how they could better succeed.
#3: Everyone agrees that there was absolutely no racial element at work in the slow response to Hurricane Katrina.
#1: A poll about sex causes Calamity Jon to yell at me.
#2: I introduce National Novel-Writing Day to a world that is not yet ready.
#3: I ask everybody what they want for Christmas, knowing full well that I am not going to get them shit.
#1: I am agog that the word 'heresy' is used in the context of a 21st-century political campaign.
#2: I engage in offensive stereotyping while speculating what Russian ownership will mean for LiveJournal.
#3: I attempt to say nice things about people I have never said nice things about before.
GOD BLESS US EVERY !!!!!!!1!!!
*: By the way, I have heard rumors that there is now a way to display all comments for a thread on a single page, instead of collapsing them into an unnavigable mess after 50 comments. Anyone know how to do this?