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JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

Back to work, Christians!

It's a holiday tradition around LiveJournal way to look at your year in review. My 2007 wasn't the best on record, so I'll just do what I normally do: recap the posts from each month that got the most comments*. I do this because it makes me look popular and it makes you people look lame, and that's what this journal is all about.


JANUARY
#1: I ask people to pick their favorite right-wing crazy for immortalization on "Profiles in Bullshit".

#2: I ask people to rewrite popular culture and make it better.

#3: I make fun of a right-wing blogger's homoerotic fantasies about an invisible Viking.

FEBRUARY
#1: That goddamn interview meme, again.

#2: I invent a bunch of mixed drinks and/or dance crazes and assign them to you in more or less random order.

#3: I make fun of hysterical conservative paranoia about the notorious Mooninite terror attack on Boston.

MARCH
#1: I conduct a poll in which people select the greatest greatest of all times of all times.

#2: I post photos of my hideous visage and solicit requests for a photo entry I never get around to doing.

#3: I ask people to give me a new name because my current, actual name is boring.

APRIL
#1: I attempt to be cheerful and optimistic for an entire day, with terrifying results.

#2: In a discussion about gun control, I alienate and anger absolutely everyone.

#3: I expose you all to angry white conservatives discussing rap music.

MAY
#1: I scientifically prove that Billy Joel sucks worse than any other rock performer ever.

#2: Jerry Falwell dies and everyone is happy.

#3: I attempt to settle eternal conflicts once and for all, and everyone annoys me by not getting into huge, angry, pointless fights.

JUNE
#1: I once again piss off everybody with my stubborn responses to a long-forgotten poll.

#2: Through the miracle of Wikigroaning, we are all friends again.

#3: Dennis 'My Son Has a Black Friend' Prager claims that being falsely accused of rape is worse than being raped.

JULY
#1: People tell their tales of eBay excess, which turn out to be pretty boring.

#2: Pop song limericks give you all a chance to be clever dicks.

#3: Leonard's 'Summer of Boredom' drags on as a meaningless poll generates furry controversy.

AUGUST

#1: I offer my services as a semi-professional music writer as people ask me lots of fun questions about rock 'n' roll.

#2: I offer my services as a strictly amateur face-puncher as people ask me lots of depressing questions about violence.

#3: I read a book on dueling and pass some of the more interesting tidbits on to you.

SEPTEMBER
#1: Heresies Week reaches a fevered climax as everyone and their cousin has something daring to say about TV and movies.

#2: Heresies Week kicks off with a thread devoted to unpopular opinions about food.

#3: Heresies Week rolls on, this time with music as the target.

OCTOBER
#1: My request for people to provide an example of something that is both the most popular and best thing of its type is widely misunderstood.

#2: A nightclub in San Antonio tries to keep out the darkies, and you all provide helpful tips as to how they could better succeed.

#3: Everyone agrees that there was absolutely no racial element at work in the slow response to Hurricane Katrina.

NOVEMBER
#1: A poll about sex causes Calamity Jon to yell at me.

#2: I introduce National Novel-Writing Day to a world that is not yet ready.

#3: I ask everybody what they want for Christmas, knowing full well that I am not going to get them shit.

DECEMBER
#1: I am agog that the word 'heresy' is used in the context of a 21st-century political campaign.

#2: I engage in offensive stereotyping while speculating what Russian ownership will mean for LiveJournal.

#3: I attempt to say nice things about people I have never said nice things about before.

GOD BLESS US EVERY !!!!!!!1!!!


*: By the way, I have heard rumors that there is now a way to display all comments for a thread on a single page, instead of collapsing them into an unnavigable mess after 50 comments. Anyone know how to do this?

Comments

( 2 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
brandawg
Dec. 26th, 2007 07:07 pm (UTC)
I bought that dueling book and have really enjoyed reading the goofier parts to my journalism class in the hopes that one of them challenges me to a duel.
krinndnz
Dec. 26th, 2007 11:49 pm (UTC)
I was actually reminded of your #2 October post last weekend - I walked past a club in Sacramento that had almost the exact same rules posted in the front window.

Also now that I've been reminded, I too am snagging Gentlemen's Blood.
( 2 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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