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WORLD WAR LIVINGROOM HAS RULES

1. I will reenact the entirety of WWII in miniature in my living room, until a satisfactory peace treaty is arrived at by all participants. It may be shorter in duration than the actual war, or longer. I have no say in this.

2. I will initially follow the WWII timeline that appears on Wikipedia. I cannot say when the first point of divergence will be reached, but it could be as early as the bombing of Lodz.

3. All major actors in the war will be represented by Heroclix, Batman action figures, food items, or rocks.

4. Items used in the reenactment will be restricted to only items that can be found in or near my living room. Items may be brought into the living room area from elsewhere, but they may not be brought in and then immediately removed. They will be made part of the permanent collection.

5. All battles will be decided by a combination of game theory, chance, and the presence of superheroes. The war will develop according to the outcome of these battles. Decisions involving what forces to commit, what tactical and strategic decisions to make, and what the ultimate outcome will be are to be influenced by any combination of drugs, alcohol and dementia that may be present in my body at the time.

6. People are likely to be offended by certain aspects of World War Livingroom. There is nothing I can do about that.

7. My decisions will be final. They are not subject to appeal unless I decide that the Time Trapper gets involved somehow. I cannot be bribed into influencing the outcome of World War Livingroom one way or 'tother.

8. Photographic evidence of all major developments of the war will be provided in this space.

9. All World War Livingroom posts will be marked with a special WWII icon. There are five such icons in total.

10. Whatever the ultimate outcome of World War Livingroom, I will live out the rest of my life as if it were historical canon. I suggest you do the same, although World War Livingroom does not make me the boss of you.

I have not yet decided which armies will be represented by which items, though I believe that the major Axis and Allied factions will be represented by assorted varieties of Chex. Also, Stalin will be portrayed by the Crimson Dynamo.

The end BUT ALSO ONLY THE BEGINNING.

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Comments

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rum_holiday
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
I think the Soviet army should be represented by cherry gummi bears.
ludickid
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
That is a good idea, but likely, if left out overnight, to attract insects, who will then have to be assigned combat roles.
BLANK - feisty_robot - Jan. 15th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - ludickid - Jan. 16th, 2008 01:09 am (UTC) - Expand
ludickid
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
Defeated Chex armies will be eaten.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:11 am (UTC)
WAR UPDATE: I forgot to buy Chex.
hipsterdetritus
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
This will rule... for A THOUSAND YEARS
I was going to start griping about how you'd better make this snappy so we can start digi-murdering each other on XBox Live, but the more I think about this whole thing, the more it makes me just laugh and laugh. I suggest you refrain from spoiling the super-identities of any other leaders/generals/dictators for maximum comedy impact.
ludickid
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:50 pm (UTC)
All We Have To Offer Is Blood, Sweat, Toil, And Chex
There will be plenty of time for digital murder, perhaps even this weekend. But I am treating this project very seriously. I shall spoil no further, but I guarantee you will enjoy the early entries.
roseyv
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:54 pm (UTC)
. Photographic evidence of all major developments of the war will be provided in this space.
You just answered my only relevant question.

Thank God.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
Re: . Photographic evidence of all major developments of the war will be provided in this space.
Don't thank God. THANK ME.
ortho_bob
Jan. 15th, 2008 10:56 pm (UTC)
Will the Liberals, I mean Nazis, be represented by Cheetos in tribute to He Who Is Mentioned Too Often Everywhere These Days?
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
It is possible, but I honestly don't anticipate any Chee-Tos getting anywhere near my living room.
vito_excalibur
Jan. 15th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
I must admit I'm kind of hoping the Allies lose in your living room. I'm looking forward to hearing about what happens the first time you try to turn in your Jewish neighbors to the local police station.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
I live in San Antonio, dude. There aren't any Jews within a hundred miles of here.
BLANK - vito_excalibur - Jan. 16th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC) - Expand
moondispatches
Jan. 15th, 2008 11:39 pm (UTC)
I am more excited for this project than words can say.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
I figure I might as well build my entire life around it.
tritium
Jan. 15th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
A humble suggestion
I would like to suggest that the Maginot line be portrayed by your penis.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:18 am (UTC)
Re: A humble suggestion
My penis will be portraying the role of that nurse in Times Square on V-J day. The role of the sailor will be played by a hooker.
corrigami
Jan. 16th, 2008 12:29 am (UTC)
"...World War Livingroom does not make me the boss of you."

I tell this to my kindergarten students EVERY DAY.

Bravo on this idea, by the way, and I hope your living room has more interesting objects in it than ours--we'd have the use of a hybrid philodendron, a one-eyed beagle and a picture of Manning Krull.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC)
Shit, if I had a picture of Manning, I'd have my Hitler.
fengi
Jan. 16th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC)
May I suggest the American interment camps be represented by Steakhouse Teriyaki Flavor Beef Jerky?
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 02:44 am (UTC)
You have more than suggested it. You have guaranteed it.
writebrain
Jan. 16th, 2008 03:29 am (UTC)
> 8. Photographic evidence of all major developments of the war will be provided in this space.

exccccccccelent.
andyaxel
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:38 am (UTC)
Before you get started, allow me to capitulate to you.

(Much like a Senate Democrat.)
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:46 am (UTC)
Neville Chamberlain will be played by the Mad Hatter.
BLANK - andyaxel - Jan. 16th, 2008 04:52 am (UTC) - Expand
roninspoon
Jan. 16th, 2008 05:01 am (UTC)
I love it when you try to sober up.
ludickid
Jan. 16th, 2008 05:50 am (UTC)
Who says I'm sober?
BLANK - roninspoon - Jan. 16th, 2008 06:05 am (UTC) - Expand
pr1ss
Jan. 16th, 2008 05:54 am (UTC)
The bombing of Britain should be foreshadowed by pizza in our time.
chizzer
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
Friended so I can keep track of WW:LR
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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