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Leonard's Tax Tips For Freelancers

LEONARD'S BRILLIANT SCHEME TO LESSEN TAX BURDEN #1: Thoroughly and conscientiously set aside the proper amount of taxes, Social Security and 401(k) set-asides from every single freelance paycheck
SCHEME DEPENDENT ON: Being thorough and conscientious; 401(k) plan not deflating like kid's balloon due to market crash and flying around room making raspberry noise as money leaks out
SUCCESS OF SCHEME EXPRESSED AS A PERCENTAGE: 35%

LEONARD'S BRILLIANT SCHEME TO LESSEN TAX BURDEN #2: Deduct as many things as legally possible and large number of things not legally, or in any other way, possible
SCHEME DEPENDENT ON: Ability to save receipts; ethical standards of tax preparer
SUCCESS OF SCHEME EXPRESSED AS A PERCENTAGE: 45%

LEONARD'S BRILLIANT SCHEME TO LESSEN TAX BURDEN #3: Fail to report income on grounds that freelance clients did not send you necessary tax documents
SCHEME DEPENDENT ON: Freelance clients neglecting to send tax docmuents
SUCCESS OF SCHEME EXPRESSED AS A PERCENTAGE: 0%

LEONARD'S BRILLIANT SCHEME TO LESSEN TAX BURDEN #4: Hope that world comes to an end/Powerball ticket pays off prior to April 15th
SCHEME DEPENDENT ON: Proper selection of 'lucky' numbers/life-hating insanity of world leaders
SUCCESS OF SCHEME EXPRESSED AS A PERCENTAGE: TBD

LEONARD'S BRILLIANT SCHEME TO LESSEN TAX BURDEN #5: Idiotic president of home country decides to hand out ridiculous, wasteful, useless tax 'refund' instead of actually doing something to help the economy
SCHEME DEPENDENT ON: Lame duck president with 'legacy' issues and fanatical devotion to ultra-right Norquistian economic policies
SUCCESS OF SCHEME EXPRESSED AS A PERCENTAGE: 100%

SPECIAL BONUS TV TRIVIA QUIZ HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH ABOVE TAX TIPS:

On "NewsRadio", what was Dave Nelson's stage name when he was a competitive knife thrower?

Comments

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(Anonymous)
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:24 am (UTC)
HOW TO MAKE $1,000,000 AND NEVER PAY ANY TAXES.

1)
ortho_bob
Jan. 29th, 2008 04:57 am (UTC)
Idiotic president of home country decides to hand out ridiculous, wasteful, useless tax 'refund' instead of actually doing something to help the economy

I wonder if it'll come with instructions - (1) spend immediately on (2) something American-made like a crate of possum jerky or an Appalachian psaltery. (3) Ensure history remembers George W. Bush as the greatest president ever until it's George P. Bush's turn.
brandawg
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:21 am (UTC)
I believe his nemesis was The Great Throwdali, but I may be mistaken there.
lester22
Jan. 29th, 2008 12:31 pm (UTC)
Dammit, I got them mixed up. Dave was the Great Throwgali, and Bruce McDonald's character was the the Great Throwdini.
jedibugs
Jan. 29th, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
Man, Stupid taxes. I had no withholding last year. I don't have my W2 yet, but I fully expect to owe somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 grand. Bot, did I pick the wrong time to become a mortgage broker. In other news, here's another way to lessen the tax burden:

Call your Representative and your Senators and ask them to request hearings into the legality of the 16th Amendment, with emphasis on investigating whether the correct number of states ever properly ratified the amendment.

Scheme Dependent on: Congressmen listening to the cry for justice of one man, Those Congressmen actually being able to convince the rest of congress, a Conspiracy Theory being right, and the 2008 congress being less corrupt than the 1913 congress in order to overturn a (supposedly) unratified Constitutional Amendment.
Success of Scheme Expressed as a Percentage:Uh...let's say 0.001%


hipsterdetritus
Jan. 29th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
Wait, what if my entire income is freelance? Do I not get Prez Bush's Super-Savings Megabux Refund?
(Anonymous)
Mar. 4th, 2008 09:08 pm (UTC)
LOL
great post, Terry @ eFile (http://www.efile.com)
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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