Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

This will be the best vacation ever

For them that cares, my tentative schedule for CPAC next weekend:


11:30 AM: Book signing -- Whitewash: What the Media Won't Tell You About Hillary Clinton But Conservatives Will by Walter Peck impersonator Brent Bozell

12:00 PM: Book signing -- Caucus of Corruption: The Truth About the New Democratic Majority by Matt Margolis & Mark Noonan, the dumbest bloggers alive

1:00 PM: Speaker – Mark "The Human" Steyn, introduced by alcoholic Long Island JAP Pamela Geller Oshry

1:30 PM: Panel – "Is the G.O.P. Still Lost?", featuring Gregg Jackson, Sen. Tom Coburn, Sen. Jim DeMint, Rep. Jeff Flake & Rep. Thad McCotter, moderated by income tax genocidist Richard Viguerie

2:00 PM: Book signing -- America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It by ethnic cleansing advocate Mark Steyn

2:30 PM: Book signing -- The Prince of Darkness: 50 Years of Reporting in Washington by unindicted co-conspirator Bob Novak

3:00 PM: Panel – "Can the Next Generation of Leaders Get Things Right?", featuring Jessica Echard, Charlie Smith, Jonathan Williams, & professional virgin Ben Shapiro, moderated by young American for freedom Jason Mattera

4:00 PM: Book signing -- Project President: Bad Hair and Botox on the Way to the White House by compulsive masturbator Ben Shapiro

4:30 PM: Speaker – Presidential crazy person Ron Paul, introduced by right-wing has-been Bob Barr

5:00 PM: Presentation – Reed Irvine "Accuracy in Media" Award

5:30 PM: Book signing -- Upstream: The Ascendance of American Conservativism by wingnut welfare dispenser Al Regnery

7:30 PM: Event – Presidential banquet hosted by Ken Blackwell of the Coalition for a Conservative Majority and featuring MSNBC demagogue Joe Scarborough and a keynote speaker yet to be announced

8:00 PM: Screening -- Hillary: The Movie

9:30 PM: Screening -- Rediscovering God in America featuring Newt Gingrich


9:30 AM: Panel – "What Do Liberals Have Planned for Your Money?", featuring Rep. Paul Ryan, Rep. Patrick McHenry, Rep. Adam Putnam, & baby-drowner Grover Norquist, moderated by Wall Street Journal hack John Fund

10:00 AM: Presentation – "Television Training for Conservatives"

11:30 AM: Book signing -- The Late Great U.S.A. by apocalyptic goonball Jerome Corsi

12:00 PM: Panel – "Hugo Chavez Democrats: Silencing the Right", featuring Kirby Wilbur, world nut Joseph Farah, web-based dissimulator Andrew Breitbart & human bowel movement David Horowitz, moderated by Regnery shill Marji Ross

1:00 PM: Presentation – "Blogger of the Year" Award & "Conservative Journalism" Award

2:00 PM: Speaker -- former Ann Coulter boy-toy Dinesh D'Souza

2:30 PM: Speaker -- former Pam Atlas masturbation fantasy John Bolton

3:00 PM: Book signing -- Surrender is Not an Option: Defending America at the United Nations and Abroad by walrus mustache John Bolton

4:00 PM: Panel -- "Why Blacks Think Conservative But Vote Liberal", featuring Rev. Leroy Thomas, the only black conservative they could dig up

4:30 PM: Book signing -- No Retreat, No Surrender: One American's Fight, by baksheesh poster boy Tom DeLay

6:00 PM: Event – CLP reception and book signing with life-hating mutant Ann Coulter

7:30 PM: Event – Ronald Reagan banquet with MC Cleta Mitchell and featured bow-tie George Will dispensing the Jeane Kirkpatrick Academic Freedom Award and the Ronald Reagan Award


9:30 AM: Panel – "What is Religion's Role in Politics?", featuring Mary Beth Brown, Nick Gillespie, Angela McGowan and moron-provocateur Mike S. Adams & moderated by Martha Zoller

10:30 AM: Book signing -- Feminists Say the Darndest Things: A Politically Incorrect Professor Confronts 'Womyn' on Campus by Mike S. Adams

11:00 AM: Panel – "Liberal Bias on Campus: The Challenge to Restore Balance to Our Universities", featuring Joe Lindsley, Samatha Harris, John Leo and David Horowitz (a.k.a. Fuddy and Duddy), moderated by Mark Tapscott

11:30 AM: Book signing -- A Time to Clash: Papers from a Provocative Pastor by meaty fanatic Doug S. Giles

12:00 PM: Book signing -- Real Change: From the World That Fails to the World That Works by futuristic blowjob enthusiast Newt Gingrich

1:00 PM: Panel -- "Threats to Our Nation's Sovereignty", featuring Cliff Kincaid, Tom Fitton, xenophobic dingbat Tom Kilgallon & withered authoritarian Phyllis Schlafly, moderated by Jeff Gayner

2:00 PM: Speaker – chunky peanut butter Newt Gingrich

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