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TWISM

I got my U.S.A. American passa-porta today. In it, I look like a Russian human trafficker who has just been punched in the face for some indiscretion or 'nother.

The passport comes with a little pamphlet that says on the front: "With your U.S. passport, the world is yours!"

If only Tony Montana had had this vital information.

Comments

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feisty_robot
Mar. 1st, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
And chico, if anything happens to that non-refundabe fee..
In this country, you gotta get the birth certificate or consular report of birth abroad first. Then when you get the birth certificate, you get the passport. Then when you get the passport, then you get the women.
hipsterdetritus
Mar. 1st, 2008 01:04 am (UTC)
A few pertinent questions:
1) How were the margins spaced on the pamphlet? Did the words pass them in any way?

2) Is the language (a) understandable; (b) smooth and (c) able to facilitate the travel plans of murderers?

3) Are there any accommodations for presidential representation?

4) Does the pamphlet include any international survival tips, such as what to do if you're caved in a thousand miles from home?

5) What about interactions with border police? Is there anything denoting whether they will, in the event of an arrest, attach handcuffs to any non-traditional parts of one's anatomy, such as the brain?
caladri
Mar. 1st, 2008 01:34 am (UTC)
jfyi, the russians on the kyakhta side of the kyakhta/altanbulag border are completely and utterly convinced that the new passports are fake.
kudaspeaks
Mar. 1st, 2008 02:06 am (UTC)
Leave it to you to select a passport photo so unnerving that it gets immediately forwarded to Interpol on general principle. Finally, that cavity search you've been dreaming of.
roninspoon
Mar. 1st, 2008 05:07 am (UTC)
As a Terrorist-American, do you really think it's wise to use a passport to leave the country, and presumably attempt reentry?
rjwhite
Mar. 1st, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
Fucking finally. It's like me never being able to use the Hedley Lamarr icon.
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