Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Shopping from A to Z

As some of you already know, I've been doing my part to make San Antonio a better place to live by purchasing a large plot of land downtown, with the intention of turning it into an upscale shopping mall. I figure the only way I'll get the kind of businesses I like is by bringing them here myself.

I've hired a wonderful East German jungle entrepreneur to run the day-to-day business, and this wonderful Laotian couple I met behind a fish market are coming in to do the architectural design, landscaping and toilet-cleaning. The graphic design and advertising is being handled by Pygfuc, who of course did the hugely successful Salon du Mépris in Lyon and the flagship Taco Fiasco superstore in Kirkuk, and my snappy Homburg is by the Susquehanna Hat Company.

Of course, any mall is only as good as its retailers. I've managed to attract a dozen so far, and I think it's starting to look pretty good, but if you have any suggestions as to what other clients I should court, please do speak up. Here's who I've got so far:

- Candy Colored Cowboy (gay rodeo supply store)
- Gang*Storr (Swedish street gang outfitters)
- Heinrich von Markup's (department store)
- My Kid Could Paint That (children's hardware store)
- Salopard's (Belgian cuisine)
- Cutters (goth hair salon)
- Filthy Stinking Rich (upscale beauty salon & spa)
- Domestic Tire & Battery (auto parts for American cars)
- Just Stirrup Pants (plus-size fashions)
- Catchphrazie's (comedy club)
- Moonchild (New Age bookstore; formerly Cancer)
- Fanny Flags (pocket handkerchiefs in various colors)
- The Livery (high-end liquor store)
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  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

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