Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Hey, hey, first of May!

- Outdoor fucking starts today!

- It's labor day pretty much everywhere except stupid America! Instead, we have "Loyalty Day"! Ha ha! We're not a banana republic at all!

- According to manningkrull, it's five more months to Halloween!

- According to hipsterdetritus, it's the day to listen to "Doowhutchalike" by the Digital Underground!

- It's May Day, the international day to recognize people whose boats are sinking!

- It's the 232nd anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati by George Washington like-a-look Adam Weisshaupt! Time to bust out your favorite conspiracy theories!

- Today is the first day that Brooke White is no longer an American Idol contestant! Bad news for foot fetishists everywhere!

- Happy birthday to: King Kamehameha, "Calamity" Jane Cannary, Joseph Heller, Terry Southern, and professional dove employer John Woo!

- Also larrondo, apparently!

- Gary Powers got shot down today; Citizen Kane premiered; North Korea began 60 years of troublemaking; Rodney King asked a question he didn't like the answer to; Eldridge Cleaver's days of raping women as a way to prove some point or another came to an end; and, five years ago, the war in Iraq ended, and everything has been great over there ever since!

I was going to say more, including solving all of the world's major economic, moral, racial, gender-based and political issues, and finally bringing the Israel-Palestine conflict to a definite conclusion, but I'm really busy, and also Grand Theft Auto IV. Happy 501, everybody!
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  • 19 comments

  • Why am I still doing this?

    #16. DJ AAK: Hey, new premise: let's get jobs! THE INTERNET: Vayner, an aspiring investment banker, sent a video titled "Impossible is…

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