- It's labor day pretty much everywhere except stupid America! Instead, we have "Loyalty Day"! Ha ha! We're not a banana republic at all!
- According to manningkrull, it's five more months to Halloween!
- According to hipsterdetritus, it's the day to listen to "Doowhutchalike" by the Digital Underground!
- It's May Day, the international day to recognize people whose boats are sinking!
- It's the 232nd anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati by George Washington like-a-look Adam Weisshaupt! Time to bust out your favorite conspiracy theories!
- Today is the first day that Brooke White is no longer an American Idol contestant! Bad news for foot fetishists everywhere!
- Happy birthday to: King Kamehameha, "Calamity" Jane Cannary, Joseph Heller, Terry Southern, and professional dove employer John Woo!
- Also larrondo, apparently!
- Gary Powers got shot down today; Citizen Kane premiered; North Korea began 60 years of troublemaking; Rodney King asked a question he didn't like the answer to; Eldridge Cleaver's days of raping women as a way to prove some point or another came to an end; and, five years ago, the war in Iraq ended, and everything has been great over there ever since!
I was going to say more, including solving all of the world's major economic, moral, racial, gender-based and political issues, and finally bringing the Israel-Palestine conflict to a definite conclusion, but I'm really busy, and also Grand Theft Auto IV. Happy 501, everybody!