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JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

Hey, hey, first of May!

- Outdoor fucking starts today!

- It's labor day pretty much everywhere except stupid America! Instead, we have "Loyalty Day"! Ha ha! We're not a banana republic at all!

- According to manningkrull, it's five more months to Halloween!

- According to hipsterdetritus, it's the day to listen to "Doowhutchalike" by the Digital Underground!

- It's May Day, the international day to recognize people whose boats are sinking!

- It's the 232nd anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati by George Washington like-a-look Adam Weisshaupt! Time to bust out your favorite conspiracy theories!

- Today is the first day that Brooke White is no longer an American Idol contestant! Bad news for foot fetishists everywhere!

- Happy birthday to: King Kamehameha, "Calamity" Jane Cannary, Joseph Heller, Terry Southern, and professional dove employer John Woo!

- Also larrondo, apparently!

- Gary Powers got shot down today; Citizen Kane premiered; North Korea began 60 years of troublemaking; Rodney King asked a question he didn't like the answer to; Eldridge Cleaver's days of raping women as a way to prove some point or another came to an end; and, five years ago, the war in Iraq ended, and everything has been great over there ever since!

I was going to say more, including solving all of the world's major economic, moral, racial, gender-based and political issues, and finally bringing the Israel-Palestine conflict to a definite conclusion, but I'm really busy, and also Grand Theft Auto IV. Happy 501, everybody!

Comments

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oilyrags
May. 1st, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
> - It's labor day pretty much everywhere except stupid America! Instead, we have "Loyalty Day"! Ha ha! We're not a banana republic at all!


Also "Law Day"

Also "Hooray for Murderous Pinkertons Day" which is only barely imaginary.
manningkrull
May. 1st, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
(Six months.)
ludickid
May. 1st, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC)
It's SIX months until All Saint's Day.
manningkrull
May. 1st, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
And this is why I always lament the fact that there's no April 31st. I guess we could say last night was six months 'til Mischief Night. Is that a thing everywhere?
ludickid
May. 1st, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
Devil's Night! Time to burn down what's left of Detroit!
calamityjon
May. 1st, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
This is true. Manning HAS always lamented that there's no April 31.
calamityjon
May. 1st, 2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
AL. WAYS.
manningkrull
May. 1st, 2008 04:15 pm (UTC)
I can't front.
lester22
May. 1st, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
Forget her feet, there is NOTHING sexier than Brooke White's sobbing and snot-ridden face while her little world crumbles apart inside. Reminds me of good times with my ex-girlfriend...
brandawg
May. 1st, 2008 03:40 pm (UTC)
Also, they replayed the clip where she lifts her arms in triumph after getting chosen for the show and WOW SHE HASN'T SHAVED HER UNDERARMS IN A WHILE.
lester22
May. 1st, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Man, I wish I had seen that. Now THERE'S a fun fetish.
littlewashu
May. 1st, 2008 03:41 pm (UTC)
It's also Million Marijuana March Day, right? I forget.
janehex
May. 1st, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
True or false: "may day" as a distress signal comes from the French "m'aidez" which means "help me."
lunchcat
May. 1st, 2008 06:38 pm (UTC)
Holy cow, I thought I was the only one down on John Woo for his excessive dove use. I feel as though I've found a kindred John Woo dove spirit.
brandiweed
May. 1st, 2008 07:31 pm (UTC)
Trivially-- well, at least trivially to you mugs-- it's my 11th wedding anniversary.
moondispatches
May. 2nd, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
It is my six-month anniversary with my current girlfriend and the birthday of my immediate previous girlfriend!

Also when did six-month anniversary become an official milestone?
hipsterdetritus
May. 2nd, 2008 05:43 am (UTC)
but I'm really busy, and also Grand Theft Auto IV.

"and also" instead of "because of"?
larrondo
May. 2nd, 2008 10:54 am (UTC)
What? Did someone say my name? I couldn't hear you over the bongo drums and fucking.
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ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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