Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Me and the IRS: A Chat Log

me: yo yo yo IRS what is up with you tonight my brother

irs.gov: how can i assist you

me: where my rebate at

irs.gov: please hep me in finding that shit out by entering the following information

me: you got it homes, i gots to get that mayonnaise

irs.gov: what are you going to do with it

me: i gots some major discretionary spending purchases to make, i'm all stimulizing the economy

irs.gov: right on to that my brother only here is the problem i cannot find out when you can be especting that moneys

me: what how come why for

irs.gov: ask again later

me: i am asking again now fool

irs.gov: perhaps you did not enter the correct information what i asked you for

me: perhaps you can suck a nut

irs.gov: i am but a humble computer that is beyond my capacities

me: anyhoot get on that shit, i need to spend all that money like the president tole me to

irs.gov: probably you will get it soon

me: when is soon, motha fucksta, i am sposed to have it now on account of my primo social

irs.gov: how about we audit you instead would that make you happier

me: no, no, man its cool

irs.gov: so how come you didnt talk to that girl at the bookstore she was all checking you out

me: i think she was just reacting to my funky aromas

irs.gov: i am a government-operated help line i know a scopeout when i remotely envision it

me: anyway it would not have worked out between us

irs.gov: y

me: she was buying an emily dickingson anthology

irs.gov: thank you for calling
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 10 comments

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…