Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

This is obviously the worst idea I have ever had

So I've been thinking about starting a new website called #FFFFFF. It would be all about how Americans are super-crazy about race (their #2 imaginary thing to get upset about, right after religion). Kind of like Stuff White People Like, but instead of "ha ha here is a funny list of things that a theoretical East Coast NPR listener/knowledge professional/white person probably enjoys", it would be "ha ha here are some news items about how much white people like racism". There would probably be other ism, like sex-, national-, tribal-, class-, and so forth sprinkled in to keep things interesting, and then there would be a special message board for people to complain about how this would be totally unfair if we lived in a fantasy world where all races were equal, or mention that other races are even more worser, or to point out to my great shock that I myself am white. And then everybody would have a party.

I even wrote this theme song:

It's the hot new race that's going 'round
They're coming to and subsequently buying your town
Ooh, white people

They like to document everything they do
Package it up and sell it to you
Oooh, white people

White people! (x3)

They don't believe in racial hate
It's just that white people are really great
Ooh, white people

So all you coloreds, watch and learn
Everything they've got, they totally earned
Ooh, white people

White people! (x3)

If someone could write that up and set it to a burbling electro-rocker tune somewhere between Total Coelo and Freezepop, that would be great. Also if you could sing the lyrics in a comically exaggerated Japanese accent, that would make it more racist, and therefore better, thanks a lot.

There is absolutely no way this is not a terrible idea, so I'm sure you'll all be behind me. Way, way behind me.

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