Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Superman had come to town to see who he could rock

Lyrical themes of golden age old-school hip-hop of which prematurely geezerish rap writer Paul Kix is apparently unaware:

- Going to a friend's house, where you are served unpalatable food
- Having shoes that hurt your corns
- Farting, boogers, doll collections
- Wacky new dance crazes
- Picking up on girls who wear French perfume and florescent socks
- Party and bullshit and party and bullshit and party and bullshit
- Comically nasal "white guy" voices
- Being a father to your children
- Misunderstanding the ordering process at Burger King
- Singing a duet with a ventriloquist's dummy of a rival rapper

See, Paul, for every "put my pistol up against his head/I said, 'sucka-ass nigga, I should shoot you dead'", there were a million songs like that, and one of the ways that the authors of even these lame, banal lyrics managed to be cooler than you was by not spending a lot of time thinking about whether or not they were impressing some self-satisfied white kid from Iowa. Now, go back to your same old 20-year-old Public Enemy mixtape, and try not to think too hard about how you're exactly like those old hippies you used to hate back in the day who said that there hadn't been any good music made since the Beatles broke up.
Subscribe

  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 7 comments