Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Superman had come to town to see who he could rock

Lyrical themes of golden age old-school hip-hop of which prematurely geezerish rap writer Paul Kix is apparently unaware:

- Going to a friend's house, where you are served unpalatable food
- Having shoes that hurt your corns
- Farting, boogers, doll collections
- Wacky new dance crazes
- Picking up on girls who wear French perfume and florescent socks
- Party and bullshit and party and bullshit and party and bullshit
- Comically nasal "white guy" voices
- Being a father to your children
- Misunderstanding the ordering process at Burger King
- Singing a duet with a ventriloquist's dummy of a rival rapper

See, Paul, for every "put my pistol up against his head/I said, 'sucka-ass nigga, I should shoot you dead'", there were a million songs like that, and one of the ways that the authors of even these lame, banal lyrics managed to be cooler than you was by not spending a lot of time thinking about whether or not they were impressing some self-satisfied white kid from Iowa. Now, go back to your same old 20-year-old Public Enemy mixtape, and try not to think too hard about how you're exactly like those old hippies you used to hate back in the day who said that there hadn't been any good music made since the Beatles broke up.

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