Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Tasteful San Antonio: The Sexening

The hack-rag local paper here is having a Sex and the City contest. If you and a select group of your friends can ably demonstrate how you "live -- and dress -- the Sex and the City lifestyle", you win thousands of dollars in prizes.

Now, I've never seen Sex and the City, I have no intention of seeing the Sex and the City movie, and I am not a lady. But I do enjoy winning thousands of dollars in prizes, so I thought about entering. The way I see it, my chances are about 50/50.

PRO: I live in a city
CON: It's not a very good city

PRO: I enjoy sex
CON: I do not have sex

PRO: I "dress" when I go outside
CON: I do not wear "a dress"

PRO: I am alive
CON: I do not have any friends, let alone a select group of them

PRO: I could probably fake having a Sex and the City lifestyle
CON: WHAT IN THE F*** IS A LIFESTYLE

Your advice on how I could win this contest is welcome.
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  • 14 comments

  • INTRIGUING FINDINGS FROM RECENT POLLS

    1. A large number of people selected New York as the rock capital of the world. Many so doing are themselves from New York. 2. No one selected…

  • This post is rocking your socks off!

    It’s Rock ‘n’ Roll Filter Friday! Of course, I do not have a Rock ‘n’ Roll Filter, because I am perfectly at home with the idea of forcing my…

  • This post is punching your face out!

    It’s Violence Filter Friday! Of course, I do not have a Violence Filter, because I am a rickety old man whose closest brush with conflict is when he…