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JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

An' ting

Can we just admit once and for all that, just as a vote against Hillary Clinton was a vote against women everywhere, a vote against Barack Obama is a vote against blacks, whites, males, Africans, Americans, Kansans, Illinoisans, bowlers, fake Muslims, and people who buy coke when they can afford it? Honestly, people.

Being a pessimist about such things, I'm trying to think of an upside to John McCain's inevitable victory in the presidential election. So I keep flashing back to this idea that me and my pal Conklin (co-inventor of the Pierce-Conklin Humor Weighting System) had when we lived in AZ: John McCain actually went crazy during his stay at the Hanoi Hilton and, in his mind, he's still there. Everything that's happened since, to him, is just the gooks putting on a show to convince him to betray America. So when he takes that oath of office, he'll think that the Supreme Court justice "swearing him in" is just some commie stooge that Charlie paid off, and he'll finally just flip out and snap: he'll pull a fork out of his suit pocket that he's had there for 30 years and plunge it into Scalia's eye, and scream at his running-mate, "NICE TRY, CHING CHONG! NOW COME GET SOME". It'll be a beautiful moment.

Comments

vito_excalibur
Jun. 6th, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
I figure picking Clinton as his running mate would be his best life insurance policy!

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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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