Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Curt Clangbury, Conservative

Skullbucket Media Ventures, Inc. is pleased to announce the arrival of a major new talent to our publishing arm. Curt Clangbury is a cattle futures speculator, cryptozoology enthusiast, and part-time decorative electric fountain salesman in Elmendorf, TX. We first met Curt on Farm Road 327, when he made fun of us for getting a flat tire; since then, his friendship, forceful personality, unique blend of fundamentalist Christianity and hardcore Objectivism, and weekly column, "You Have Failed, Probably" in the Elmendorf Trader-Gazette have made him an important part of our daily lives.

At age 13, Curt Clangbury noticed that some people had opinions, interests and ideas at variance with his own. Ever since then, he has devoted his life to making sure that such people know that he finds them unacceptable and will spend his remaining years on this Earth ensuring that they are ridden out of town on a rail, or out of the country on a boat, whichever is applicable. His angry letters and phone calls to the Government Publications Library and various automated help lines have entertained millions, and his simple and direct political philosophy, in which all problems can be solved by either a standing army, tax cuts, or both, appeals to an increasing cross-section of semi-employable Americans.

Up until summer of 2008, Curt Clangbury was content to let his message get through in his weekly newspaper column and his semi-annual recorded phone tirades to the gas company. But this June, faced with the inescapable prospect of having to not vote for either a woman or a Negro in the upcoming presidential elections, he decided that he needed a wider platform for his timely and well-informed views. We here at the Skullbucket are happy to provide him with that platform, and in the next several months, we will be proud to present some of Mr. Clangbury's essays, opinions and observations, as well as selected excerpts from his forthcoming book, No, I'm Afraid Not: My America.


  • The Party of What People?

    This will be my last entry of 2016.  Next year will begin, barring some unexpected act of fate, with the ascension to the presidency of Donald…

  • Anno Terribilis

    2016, the little year that absolutely could not, is almost over, and with the exception of people for whom it was a raging success —…

  • Shalom and the Jewish Jesus

    Shalom Auslander got the best possible start on having a sickly fatalistic sense of humor:  he was a miserable Jew from the day he was born. As…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.