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And that's why I'm suing you

COUNT 1: You were wrong when you said "Everything is gonna be all right".

COUNT 2: You went to the Grand Canyon and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

COUNT 3: I bought a can of Axe body spray, and was not molested by a hot model in an elevator afterwards.

COUNT 4: You did know what it was like to love somebody the way that I love you, and you didn't tell me.

COUNT 5: I went to Philadelphia and it rained.

COUNT 6: I got my electric bill after 9/11 just like before.

COUNT 7: You didn't have to squeeze me like you did, but you did, and it hurt me.

COUNT 8: Every time I tried to get out, you pulled me back in.

COUNT 9: You repeatedly misinformed me about the meaning of irony.

COUNT 10: I love my freedom, so I thanked a veteran, and all he did was tell me to go fuck myself.

Comments

( 8 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
tritium
Jun. 11th, 2008 04:06 pm (UTC)
Axe body spray: because she had it coming.
Regarding count 3: you might want to see about making that a class action. I was under the impression that Axe sold roofies.
faeryhead
Jun. 11th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
When I started reading this I thought it was a play and Count Dracula 1 was talking to Count Dracula 2...
calamityjon
Jun. 11th, 2008 06:24 pm (UTC)
COUNT 1: You vere vrong ven you said "Everything is gonna be all right".

COUNT 2: Vell, you vent to the Grand Canyon and all I got vas this lousy t-shirt.
ludickid
Jun. 11th, 2008 06:34 pm (UTC)
Bluh!
Layteez unt yentleminks, zer essnik vampire comedy of Dracklestein and Noferatsowicz!
thehighhat
Jun. 11th, 2008 08:54 pm (UTC)
Count 4: I love that song. I was singing it to my children last night, wondering if they will be scarred by all the lovelorn rock songs and murder ballads I end up singing to them.
easyalchemy
Jun. 11th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
My friend's parents did that, and he grew up to be a folk musician. There's a warning in that, folks.
tritium
Jun. 11th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
Songs on the mix CD my wife made for our son that are not content-appropriate
* "International Small Arms Traffic Blues," The Mountain Goats
* "Sodom, South Georgia," Iron & Wine
* "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." Sufjan Stevens
sharpshinyclaws
Jun. 11th, 2008 10:08 pm (UTC)
Count 1.
I love that song. Did you MEAN to reference the song? Or am I just giving you too much credit?
( 8 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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flavored with age
ludickid
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
Ludic Log

PROPRIETOR

Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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