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JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

So I've decided at last to go into the world of professional wrestling. I've decided on a heel turn, a persona ("The Hipster", a music geek gone bad), and a uniform (same as all the other wrestlers, but I would wear it ironically).

Now all I have to do is figure out my finishing move. Here's what I got so far:

- Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Punching Your Face

- Taking Tiger Mountain (By Suplexes)

- 3 Feet High and Legdropping

- Double Knuckles on the Spine

- Stretch: The Submission Agenda

- The Velvet Underground & Knee Blow

- Enter the Wu-Hang: 36 Chokeholds

- Fold Your Hands Child You Chop Like a Pissant

- It Takes a Nation of Millions to Torture Rack

- Kind of Bruised

What do you think?

Comments

( 14 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
lester22
Jun. 24th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
There's really no need to go further than "Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Punching Your Face". That's absolutely perfect.
perich
Jun. 24th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
The difference between The Rock's catchphrase ("Finally! The Rock has come Back! To Denver!") and the Hipster's ("Finally! The Hipster has come Back! To Denver!") rarely translates into print.
ludickid
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:47 pm (UTC)
I do a raised eyebrow like the Rock, but it means something totally different.
perich
Jun. 24th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
the new! age! professionals!
The Hipster teamed up briefly with the College Sweetheart and the Peace Corps(e) to form ReGeneration X.
tritium
Jun. 24th, 2008 06:13 pm (UTC)
How about "Beat Happening?"
ludickid
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, NICE.
oilyrags
Jun. 24th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
The Pindown From Way Out was already taken?
ludickid
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but people are responding well to "The Snap Mare of Simpleton".
jtron
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
Double Knuckles on the Spine
I picture this as a second-rope fistdrop to someone's back.

That would actually be pretty sweet!

Are you gonna cut promos criticizing peoples' entrance music?
ludickid
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Double Knuckles on the Spine
I'm going to do a regular feature where I rate their entrance music on a number scale and then make withering comments about them. It'll be called the Figurefork Leg Lock.
thaitea
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
- Ape Banger
- Smart-Whip
- Absolutely Bill's Blood
- Pleasure of Agony
- My Favorite Beatings
- Your Bucket's Got a Hole In It
- I Believe I'll Bust My Broom Over Your Head

It's always good to brush up on defensive moves, such as:
- Songs About Ducking
- (Don't) Fall on Me
ludickid
Jun. 24th, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
A lot of those are off of an album that was a big influence on my wrestling style, Invisible Hits in the Cock.
bossgoji
Jun. 24th, 2008 08:38 pm (UTC)
thank you, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
And of course, don't forget such brilliant offensive maneuvers as:

-Pin Like The Rose
-Suddenly Suplex
-Heart + Soul + Fist
-Ha Ha High Kick
-Sympathetic Noose Hold
-Red Eyes And Tears, After I Punch You In The Nuts
-Clotheslien On Your Dreams
-White Palms Of Fury
-666 Conducer Lock
-Complicated Submission Situation
hipsterdetritus
Jun. 24th, 2008 11:52 pm (UTC)
I am going to create a wrestler in Fire Pro with all these moves
-The Raw Powerbomb
-The Fix Up Look Sharpshooter
-The Marquee Moonsault
-The Super-Ape-plex
-The I Was Made to Love Her-icanrana
( 14 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )