As I know I've mentioned before, these hobos enjoy taking a dump on the sidewalk, a fun activity that makes my commute a wonderland of the senses, especially once summer hits. However, lately, they have also taken to pissing in doorways, which, combined with the frequent pools of vomitus I encounter, makes every morning's stroll a fascinating tour of the human excretory system.
Due to the almost numbing frequency of this exposure, I have taken to using my own system of annotation: "Today was a two-dick day," I might say to a co-worker, or "Not so bad today, Rick*, today was just a one-dump day." No-dick-no-dump days are increasingly rare. Just as I cannot fully account for how fat I have become (although I overeat garbage and drink too much, I feel I can gain ten pounds simply by walking ten feet in this city), I cannot account for the quantity and fecundity of the fecum produced by this city's bum population. I used to live in Chicago, home of five million people, at least half of whom were homeless, and I see more human shit here in a week than I did there for 12 years. It's a goddamn mystery, is what it is. I mean, I have theories, but this post has probably grossed you out enough already.
*: True Fact -- fully 40% of the people I work with are called "Rick" or "Andrea".