?

Log in

No account? Create an account

JUMP BACK | BE FORWARD

Pumping those legs all the way through

Do you know why I think this is so funny? Because I am nine, that's why. I am nine years old.

And, I mean, even beyond the name, it's like the news stringer deliberately wrote this for maximum juvenile hilarity:

"It means a lot to me," the 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me."

In Saturday's opening heat, Homosexual pulled way up, way too soon, and nearly was caught by the field, before accelerating again and lunging in for fourth place.


COME ON

Comments

( 10 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
ortho_bob
Jul. 2nd, 2008 03:18 pm (UTC)
Check to see if their guide to wholesome entertainment* mentions Penis Van Lesbian in Mary Poppins**.

* Or maybe that should be anus-some penetrate-tainment.
** I'm these are both homosexualist codewords too.
vito_excalibur
Jul. 2nd, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC)
I thought there was no way to make this any funnier, but you win.
eatsoylentgreen
Jul. 2nd, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
so he could sue them for libel, probably

this is based on my extensive legal experience from talking to people who know internet lawyers, probably
eatsoylentgreen
Jul. 2nd, 2008 03:59 pm (UTC)
"I'm sore right now," Homosexual said, "but probably from the victory lap."

http://bp0.blogger.com/_wusc4ZC4DPc/SGiAWEXWdaI/AAAAAAAAAeE/Rvejb2KBg98/s1600-h/tyson+homosexual+screen.jpg
dreamweasel
Jul. 2nd, 2008 04:24 pm (UTC)
Reminds me of the Metro Times' review of Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. The reviewer described actor Kal Penn as "Indian-American", which was replaced with "Native American" by a clumsy proofreader.
johnnylemonhead
Jul. 2nd, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
bwahahaha. thank you, leonard pierce!
feisty_robot
Jul. 2nd, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
Ha. Man, that's clbuttic.
glindanorth
Jul. 2nd, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
That's fabulous on so many levels.
thaitea
Jul. 3rd, 2008 12:17 am (UTC)
From the end of the article:

"The blog Agitator also found this gem of a story on the AFA's OneNewsNow site, from a June 27 story article about NBA player Rudy Gay:

Memphis Grizzlies backers hit the hay hoping that Kevin Love would open things up for Rudy Homosexual in the frontcourt."

I have got to watch more basketball.


flying_blind
Jul. 3rd, 2008 01:52 am (UTC)
"His time of 9.68 seconds at the U.S. Olympic trials Sunday doesn't count as a world record, because it was run with the help of a too-strong tailwind."

Typical Homosexual behavior to take advantage of a tailwind. I'm glad he was penilized!
( 10 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )