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Butterfly howitzer

Dear "SickOFSlick", CNN 'iReporter':

1. Bill Clinton has not been president for eight years. Don't you find it a bit odd to self-identify with a screen name claiming you are sick of him?

2. Why "SickOFSlick"? Are you attempting to emphasize the "OF", as if to distinguish yourself from another Clinton-bashing internet troll called "SickFROMSlick" or, better yet, "SickONSlick"?

3. Do you really find it "hard to believe" that people cheer Bill Clinton? He's a wildly popular two-term president. I didn't really like him either, but he's charismatic, and verging on beloved. I could understand if you were frustrated or annoyed that people cheered him, but surely you don't find it hard to believe.

4. Not to get all partisan on you or anything, but do you ever think that other presidents -- like, say our current one -- brought shame to the presidency, or lied repeatedly to the very people who elected him?

4a. Would it be better if he lied repeatedly to the people who didn't elect him? Like, would he be a better president if he only lied to Republicans, or Venezuelans?

5. Bill Clinton not "nothing but a lowlife womanizer". He is a lowlife womanizer and a former president of the United States.

6. He is not "wasting precious air on this planet". Air is not precious. It is plentiful. There is no air shortage. Now, an oil shortage, that's something else altogether.

7. It has not been a few short years since the Lewinsky scandal. It has been a decade.

8. People did not forget about it. They just don't care.

9. If it does not matter whether you are a Democrat or a Republican in terms of moral outrage, may one assume that you are equally enraged at George W. Bush for his repeated lying to the very people who elected him, or at John McCain for his lowlife womanizing?

10. Doesn't it mildly embarrass you that you are the only 'CNN iReporter' who didn't actually watch the Clinton speech, given that this was your only responsibility?

11. Especially given that you appear to be the sole voice of the Republican opposition, aren't you kind of mortified that, vouchsafed the duty of watching a 20-minute speech in exchange for editorial space on the world's biggest cable news network's website, you couldn't even finish and spend the whole time beating off to hurricane footage on the Weather Channel?

12. If the Democrats win, we will not need God to help us, because, for the first time in eight years, the government will.

yours,
Leonard

Comments

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lunchcat
Aug. 28th, 2008 11:28 pm (UTC)
I read these comments earlier and just smacked my forehead. Thank you for responding to this idiot. Here's hoping he or she likes to read your blog from time to time.
flying_blind
Aug. 29th, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
Bill Clinton is wasting precious oil on this planet, every time he lubes his enormous pecker! That is lube SickOFSlick could be using on his/her own bung while being reamed by George W. Bush! Have you no concern for the Republican party's compulsive ankle-grabbers?

Furthermore, if Obama is elected we are sure to get socialized medecine, and then Bill Clinton will get free Viagra! What will the rest of us do for lube then? Wake up and smell the oily vaginas!
calamityjake
Aug. 29th, 2008 02:55 pm (UTC)
Ha ha oh god :(
(Anonymous)
Aug. 29th, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC)
... we will not need God to help us, because, for the first time in eight years, the government will.

Amen.
adam_0oo
Aug. 29th, 2008 04:52 pm (UTC)
Ditto.
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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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