Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

I really want to know!

Usually, these polls are "push" polls -- that is, I am seeking a specific answer, and the other answers are just there so I can make fun of you. In this case, however, all questions are serious inquiries as to your opinion on matters not yet decided.

And now, a story:

***

So, as some of you may know, my day job is in an office building. Yellow Rectangular Border Publishing is on the top floor, and one of our lower-floor neighbors is M.A.D.D. (Mother Against Drunk Drivers). Occasionally, of an afternoon, I will encounter some sheepish-looking teenager wandering the halls looking for their office, where he has been directed to attend a seminar for having been caught out in his dad's Voyager after a couple of Lone Stars.

Anyway, about a week ago, I was leaving for the day, and there were these four M.A.D.D.-women in the elevator. They had one of those little wheeled carriers that people sometimes use for luggage, and on it was a box containing about a dozen softcover books. One of the women laughed at something and her gum fell out of her mouth and landed on my shoe, which has nothing to do with my question, I am simply mentioning it for no reason.

We all left the building about the same time, the four women from M.A.D.D. in front of me. On their way out, the woman with the wheeled carrier made a misstep, and her box of books fell over, depositing the books on the sidewalk. All of the women immediately got down and helped her pick them up; I just kept walking. One of them shouted out at me, really sarcastically, "Thanks for the help."

***

Poll #1265539 Tuesday Super Non-Push Poll

In the story above, was I an asshole?

Oh, you were SO an asshole.
1(1.1%)
Maybe you weren't an asshole, but you should have at least offered to help.
20(22.7%)
I have no opinion.
4(4.5%)
No, you weren't an asshole. There were four of them. They didn't need help.
51(58.0%)
THEY were the assholes for dropping their funky ol' gum on your shoe.
9(10.2%)
You are always an asshole regardless of your culpability in this individual scenario.
1(1.1%)
See Comments for nuanced reply.
2(2.3%)

Should I grow a beard?

Absolutely not. You would look like a fucking idiot.
16(18.4%)
Probably not. You would look even more like a lazy fat guy than you do now.
12(13.8%)
I have no opinion.
16(18.4%)
Yes. You would look manly and attractive.
15(17.2%)
Yes. It would be funny.
15(17.2%)
I think you should grow a beard BECAUSE you would look like a fucking idiot.
8(9.2%)
See Comments for nuanced reply.
5(5.7%)

Lately, I haven't been cooking much, because I live alone, and I find it pointless and somewhat frustrating to cook for one. Should I cook more?

Yes. Cooking, even for one, is a valuable skill to retain, plus it's cheaper and more efficient than eating out.
61(69.3%)
Yes. Someday you won't live alone and you should stay in practice.
12(13.6%)
I have no opinion.
6(6.8%)
No. You're right – cooking for one is sad and pathetic.
1(1.1%)
No. Cooking for one is fine, but given your limited storage space, it's wasteful and not all that cheap.
8(9.1%)
Maybe you should just eat less in general, Fatso O'Fattery.
0(0.0%)
See Comments for nuanced reply.
0(0.0%)

Which of the following are major factors for you when buying a car?

appearance/styling
0(0.0%)
affordability
3(3.4%)
gas mileage/fuel efficiency
6(6.9%)
environmental factors
0(0.0%)
customization
0(0.0%)
manufacturer
0(0.0%)
handling/performance
0(0.0%)
storage/capacity
0(0.0%)
safety features
0(0.0%)
consumer ratings
0(0.0%)
others (see Comments)
0(0.0%)
I have never bought a car
14(16.1%)

I don't have any friends in San Antonio. Given that I am generally an asocial mope who hates people and the things that they do, how might I correct this, assuming that I wanted to?



ETA: This poll sounds a lot more pathetic than I intended. The whole thing about eating alone was meant to be practical – I love to cook, as any of my Chicago friends can testify, but I also find it kind of irritating to either (a) batter the portions down to one-serving size or (b) let a bunch of food go to waste, since I don't really have the freezer/refrigerator space to store leftovers. It came out, though, as a variant of "Am I a sad little clown if I eat at a restaurant by myself?"

As far as the friends thing goes, it's impossible to ask that question without sounding like a loser. But honestly – without school or a job as a means of meeting people, I'm kind of at a loss here. There's no real music, film or literary scene in SATX, and the kinds of people who like my other interests (gaming, comics, and alcohol abuse) tend to be melvins or scumbags. Maybe I should just go on eBay and order some.
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