Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

Barba-rian

To clarify a point raised in today's poll, I want to make it clear that if I grow a beard, I will not be growing a polite little respectable person's beard. I will not be sporting a wingnut face mullet, or a nicely-trimmed, take-it-home-to-meet-the-parents kind of a beard such as is found on some of your boyfriends. As befitting my status as someone who should not even be let out of the house, I will be growing a huge, unruly mess of hair that signifies the strong possibility of mental illness. It will be intended to amplify, rather than conceal, my horribleness.

As an example, here are some of my favorite beards, in more or less descending order of preference.

Osama bin-Laden, uncatchable mischief-maker.

Billy Gibbons, ZZ Top axeman.

Kerry King, guitarist for Slayer.

Kyp Malone, TV on the Radio guitarist.

Alan Moore, comics genius/wizard.

Will Oldham, triple threat.

Grigori Rasputin, indestructible monk.

Rick Ross, felonious rapper.

Rick Rubin, Def Jam uberproducer.

Mike Watt, thunder-broomster.

Feel free to change your votes accordingly.
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  • Pledge Drive 2015

    Hi there!  If you’re reading this site, that means you enjoy the writing you find here on a regular basis. Or you got here by accident.  Or…

  • Yule Be Sorry

    Hello, readers! As you know, the holiday season is upon us.  Posting has been light around here of late due to professional obligations, health…

  • There’s Always More Labor After

    That well-fed fellow up there is the Reverend Douglas Wilson.  A product of Idaho’s state university system and a recipient of the largesse of…