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Change...Like You Wouldn't Believe

Remember, folks, in three weeks, you have a decision to make that will greatly influence the future of America, at a highly critical time. I'm hoping that you'll all make the right choice:

I was unable to participate in the recent debate due to racial bigotry under the guise of "security", but I'm perfectly happy to entertain any and all questions from the press. Yes, you there, with the LiveJournal"? Go ahead...


Oct. 16th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
What the hell is that SMELL?!
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
It's hope, my friend. Deep-fried hope...for America.
BLANK - oilyrags - Oct. 16th, 2008 04:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - ludickid - Oct. 16th, 2008 04:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - oilyrags - Oct. 16th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
What would you do to ensure that Joe the Plumber will not only pay more in taxes under your administration than he has previously, but will have his life made generally unpleasant in other ways as well? Please tell me you would do something.
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Joe the Plumber will receive an exclusive contract for toilet repair in Afghanistan. His income will bump him into the highest tax bracket, which will make him eligible to pay an 88% tax rate under my new plan.
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:44 pm (UTC)
Also, outline your plan for making Marc Cherry get Bree and Katherine together on Desperate Housewives. You are welcome to discuss any other TV-show-related policies your administration plans to put into effect as well.
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
I intend to appoint a blue-ribbon committed equipped with pot brownies to find out exactly what the hell you are talking about.
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Dear Senator, Can I get a hug up in here already? Don't leave me hanging.
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
Are you being the plot to clog America's drains in an attempt to boost the growth of plumbers in the work force so the Republican party can adequately label my husband?
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:52 pm (UTC)
not being.
BLANK - ludickid - Oct. 16th, 2008 03:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
mr. pierce! mr. pierce!
Mr. Pierce! Gerald Marian, Herald-Clarion. Botswana, Madagascar, Playa del Carmen. Please rank them in order of priority for American intervention and give your reasoning behind each.
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:23 pm (UTC)
Re: mr. pierce! mr. pierce!
1. Madagascar (good coffee)

2. Playa del Carmen (chance to play Spin the Bottle with hot Marxist secretaries)

3. Botswana (silly name)
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
Sir! Sir, and ma'am... what is your campaign's position on steaks and martinis?
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:29 pm (UTC)
Unabashedly pro-.
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:38 pm (UTC)
Mr. Pierce, would you please explain your relationship to the notoriously pro-abortion special interest group known as the American Milk Solids Council? Isn't it true that in addition to its stated purpose of fostering the promulgation of controversial "milk solids" and other milk by-products, it also engages in pro-abortion activities?

I think the People have a right to know.
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
The only goal of the American Milk Solids Council is to provide the United States and other select nations with delicious, healthful and not at all unreliable and dangerous dried, powdered and solidified modified dairy products. Any use of it as an abortofacitent is purely coincidental.

BLANK - lester22 - Oct. 16th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - ludickid - Oct. 16th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
BLANK - lester22 - Oct. 16th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 16th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
What does space smell like, Governor Pierce?
Oct. 16th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
I have it on good authority that it smells like a combination of Jeno's Pizza Rolls and shame.
Oct. 16th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
Your campaign claims to be for the "American Future," but there are allegations that neither you nor Ms. Thurman are from the future. In fact, there is credible evidence that you are both from the past, circa 1969. How do you address these criticisms?

Edited at 2008-10-16 05:27 pm (UTC)
Oct. 16th, 2008 08:27 pm (UTC)
Well, first of all, just because we are FROM the past doesn't mean we can't be FOR the future. Second of all, Ms. Thurman appeared in "Gattaca", in which she played someone who was from the future.
Oct. 16th, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC)
This is a question for your running mate, Ms. Thurman (D-Hotness). Ms. Thurman, will you.. will you go out with me? (Please say yes)
Oct. 16th, 2008 08:28 pm (UTC)
BLANK - feisty_robot - Oct. 16th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 16th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
I'm a middle class man with a family and a mortgage. A lot's been made about the upcoming financial crisis and how it will affect taxes and the fundamentals of our economy. What I want to know is, why is still illegal to kill a hooker if she uses her teeth?
Oct. 16th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
There are a lot of gray areas. Maybe you asked her to.
Oct. 16th, 2008 07:00 pm (UTC)
Mr. Pierce! Canadian Press here. Would you mind terribly if I fucked the brains out of your running mate?
Oct. 16th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
That's inappropriate, son.
BLANK - bassman42 - Oct. 16th, 2008 08:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 16th, 2008 07:12 pm (UTC)
Hello, I would like to own the Seattle Mariners. Can you arrange this for me somehow? I can almost guarantee I will vote for you if you do.
Oct. 16th, 2008 08:29 pm (UTC)
I can at the very least arrange for you to own a Seattle Mariners ballcap.
Oct. 16th, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
I loved you on "Remington Steele!"