Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator
ludickid

The system works - the system called reciprocity

- Hi. We’d like to apply for a loan.

- Certainly, sir. What sort of loan do you require?

- I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.

- I mean to say, is this a home loan, a small business loan, a vehicle financing loan, or...?

- Well, I overinvested in a lot of shitty marginal funds and real estate scams, and lied to my stockholders about the robustness of my assets, and when people tried to call in their debts I went belly up. I’m not sure what you’d call that.

- Let’s just call it a small business loan. And which one of your group will be receiving the loan?

- A bunch of us. I’d really rather not say who. I’ll just leave a box next to your desk. You fill it up with money and I’ll come get it tomorrow and split it up.

- I see. And how much will you be requiring?

- That’s hard to say. A fucking lot, that’s for sure. Tell you what, I’ll bring the box back on Friday, and you fill it up with cash every day until I say stop.

- What will you be putting up as collateral?

- As what?

- As a guarantee against your loan.

- I don’t understand your financial mumbo jumbo, man. In English, how about that?

- What will you be giving us as value against your defaulting on the loan?

- Oh, I get you. How about nothing?

- Beg your pardon?

- How about a giant sack full of nothing, with nothing on the side and a nothing frosting, and my big fat dick on top of that?

- So what you’re saying is, you want a large loan, which we’re supposed to finance, but you won’t say who gets the money, or how much money you’re going to take, or how you’re ever going to pay us back, or what we get for making you the loan in the first place?

- We think that’s counterproductive.
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