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A Change is Gonna Kum On Feel the Noize

FINALLY! A little peace and quiet!

Poll #1326943 At Last the 2009 Poll

How's your 2009 going?

Gangbusters
5(6.8%)
Cosi-cosa
26(35.1%)
Meh
33(44.6%)
Crappy
8(10.8%)
It's not 2009 where I am
2(2.7%)

How do you feel about discussing the weather?

I fucking LOVE IT
9(12.3%)
It is the pinnacle of banality
4(5.5%)
It is useful only when you actually need to know about the weather
39(53.4%)
It's fine for some people, I guess, like in the flyover states
2(2.7%)
It's a good way to start a better conversation
10(13.7%)
It gets the people at the water cooler off my ass
7(9.6%)
I don't discuss the weather
2(2.7%)

What happens on January 20, 2009?

America finally sheds itself of the worst President in its history
51(70.8%)
the new season of "Project Runway" starts
5(6.9%)
Federico Fellini's ghost wishes it was alive to celebrate his 89th birthday
3(4.2%)
Chile celebrates the 170th anniversary of the Battle of Yungay, at which it defeated the combined forces of Peru and Bolivia
6(8.3%)
nothing whatsoever
7(9.7%)

If I learn that someone does not like a cultural object that I like, I use the following rhetorical devices:

I immediately question their ability to have an opinion about anything whatsoever in that cultural field.
1(1.5%)
I assume that they simply do not know the history of the object's creator, and launch into a boring history of his/her many accomplishments.
2(2.9%)
I cite a number of contrary opinions by famous people.
0(0.0%)
I make reference to cultural products that I dislike even more, the assumption being that the person likes those terrible things.
1(1.5%)
I defend the object against criticisms that person did not make.
1(1.5%)
I voice my opinion that the person should be fired from his job of rendering opinions about cultural objects.
0(0.0%)
I may do any number of things, but one thing I do for sure is take the whole thing way too personally.
12(17.6%)
I immediately invoke Hitler.
7(10.3%)
I become violently angry that someone I have never met does not like something created by someone else I have never met.
6(8.8%)
This has never happened to me because everybody likes the things I like.
4(5.9%)

Have you broken any of your New Year's resolutions yet? If you have, explain how.

Comments

( 8 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
yesaffirmative
Jan. 7th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
I used to think that living in Minnesota made discussions of the weather completely OK. Then I interviewed a woman in Alaska, who grew up in a town above the Arctic Motha' Fuckin' Circle. She mentioned that she'd just gotten off the phone with her mom and it was currently colder than -50 back at the home place.

Now, I know that Minnesotans are bunch of pussies.
hipsterdetritus
Jan. 7th, 2009 07:31 pm (UTC)
Now, I know that Minnesotans are bunch of pussies.

I am tempted to say that the weather-based misery is compounded by having to live in a state where your NBA team is the goddamned Timberwolves, but that really only holds water in a pre-Palin time.
roninspoon
Jan. 7th, 2009 04:51 pm (UTC)
THIS IS ABOUT STAR WARS ISN'T IT?!
tritium
Jan. 7th, 2009 05:48 pm (UTC)
Quick clarification
When I invoke Hitler, the process involves a bell, seven candles arranged in a candelabrum, and a copy of Mein Kampf. I usually chant something on the order of "Oh dark lord Hitler, I beseech thee accept this offering and show my enemies the true path of Speed Racer."
saltdawg
Jan. 7th, 2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
I refuse to answer question #3 because you failed to include "The celebration of Timkat" as an option.
hipsterdetritus
Jan. 7th, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
If I learn that someone does not like a cultural object that I like, I use the following rhetorical devices:

Did you run out of room before getting to "accuse them of being a hipster douchebag (TM)"?
thebitterguy
Jan. 9th, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
Seriously, that's step #1.
yuriverse
Jan. 7th, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
Wot with the weather in Australia finally becoming utterly glorious like I've been waiting for since I got here, I am WALLOWING in weathertalk. I'm going to enjoy my moment in the sun (so to speak).
( 8 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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