Oh, LJ Writer's Block, you're so delighfully idiotic

Aug. 4th, 2009 at 9:07 AM

Writer's Block

Imagine you manage a coven of baseball-playing vampires. The Cullen family is really strong this year and you want to bring in a ringer. Which currently active MLB baseball player do you sire?

Imagine you are a lifetime account-holder on a venerable blogging/social networking site. You log in one morning, and are immediately asked to contend with the sentence "Imagine you manage a coven of baseball-playing vampires". What possible gesture could be sufficient to convey your feelings on this matter?

Comments

( 13 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

solipsiae

Aug. 4th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)

You say "idiotic," I say "eerily relevant." It's like they wrote that for you, even if you're not gonna write it.

Twilight's vampire baseball scene = Harry Potter Quidditch scenes. Supernatural beings don't need human sports. PLEASE.

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ludickid

Aug. 4th, 2009 02:40 pm (UTC)

Imagine you run a vampire-staffed beauty salon. Imagine you are the project manager on an ad campaign for a new line of office supplies aimed at werewolves. Imagine you are a social worker, and you are attempting to get your client, who is a giant hyperintelligent gas cloud, to stay in school.

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tawdryjones

Aug. 4th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)

I'd love to see these start showing up on HR interview question sheets.

How would you adequately accommodate a centaur in a cubicle?

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krinndnz

Aug. 5th, 2009 03:21 am (UTC)

Well, you could bring back those "lateral thinking" puzzles that were so popular a few years back. This would fit right in with the particularly bullshit examples of those questions.

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solipsiae

Aug. 5th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)

Well, those broke my brain. Good job!

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harmfulguy

Aug. 4th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)

Stake. Heart. Bonus points for ~~coating the stake with glitter~~ sharpening a miniature Louisville Slugger.

Edited at 2009-08-04 02:51 pm (UTC)

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mrdankelly

Aug. 4th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)

You see the irony in that it inspired you, right?

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fiberpunk

Aug. 4th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)

Stop imagining that you explain obvious things to people on LiveJournal.

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fiberpunk

Aug. 4th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)

What I worry about is that these block-clearing devices work, and that the Hugo awards for 2011 will be full of baseball-themed occult novels. And if "I Don't Practice Renteria" loses to that cynical cash-in, "He Bit Me (It Felt like Coco Crisp)," then I'm canceling my Worldcon membership.

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