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Writer's Block

Imagine you manage a coven of baseball-playing vampires. The Cullen family is really strong this year and you want to bring in a ringer. Which currently active MLB baseball player do you sire?


Imagine you are a lifetime account-holder on a venerable blogging/social networking site. You log in one morning, and are immediately asked to contend with the sentence "Imagine you manage a coven of baseball-playing vampires". What possible gesture could be sufficient to convey your feelings on this matter?

Comments

( 14 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )
solipsiae
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
You say "idiotic," I say "eerily relevant." It's like they wrote that for you, even if you're not gonna write it.

Twilight's vampire baseball scene = Harry Potter Quidditch scenes. Supernatural beings don't need human sports. PLEASE.
ludickid
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:40 pm (UTC)
Imagine you run a vampire-staffed beauty salon. Imagine you are the project manager on an ad campaign for a new line of office supplies aimed at werewolves. Imagine you are a social worker, and you are attempting to get your client, who is a giant hyperintelligent gas cloud, to stay in school.
tawdryjones
Aug. 4th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
I'd love to see these start showing up on HR interview question sheets.

How would you adequately accommodate a centaur in a cubicle?
krinndnz
Aug. 5th, 2009 03:21 am (UTC)
Well, you could bring back those "lateral thinking" puzzles that were so popular a few years back. This would fit right in with the particularly bullshit examples of those questions.
solipsiae
Aug. 5th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
Well, those broke my brain. Good job!
harmfulguy
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:47 pm (UTC)
Stake. Heart. Bonus points for coating the stake with glitter sharpening a miniature Louisville Slugger.

Edited at 2009-08-04 02:51 pm (UTC)
mrdankelly
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
You see the irony in that it inspired you, right?
fiberpunk
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
Stop imagining that you explain obvious things to people on LiveJournal.
fiberpunk
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
What I worry about is that these block-clearing devices work, and that the Hugo awards for 2011 will be full of baseball-themed occult novels. And if "I Don't Practice Renteria" loses to that cynical cash-in, "He Bit Me (It Felt like Coco Crisp)," then I'm canceling my Worldcon membership.
ludickid
Aug. 4th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)
All Heads Turn When Torii Hunter Goes By

The Oriole Who Ate His Bench Coach

The Flesh, the Blood, and Don Zimmer

perich
Aug. 4th, 2009 02:55 pm (UTC)
Forget it, Jake. It's LiveJournal.
marlo
Aug. 4th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
I like the weird ones much better than "What is your favorite holiday?" YAWN.
hooper_x
Aug. 4th, 2009 09:41 pm (UTC)
I feel ineffable shame that I only have two fists, because there are a lot of faces that need punching, and I ain't got that much time.
krinndnz
Aug. 5th, 2009 03:22 am (UTC)
Why, I have to ask, do you bother with LJ's front page?
( 14 SHOTS LICKED — LICK A SHOT )

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Leonard Pierce is a freelance writer wandering around Texas with no sleep or sense of direction. If you give him money he will write something for you. If you are nice to him he may come to your house and get drunk.

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