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Your KILL is on my list!

I have never ever seen an episode of Murder, She Wrote, nor do I intend to. But I am sort of obsessed with the episode titles, which are a goofy combo of men's adventure and '70s cheese elements. Here are my 20 favorites. Yes, these are all real.

1. "Alma Murder"
2. "Coal Miner’s Slaughter"
3. "Corned Beef & Carnage"
4. "The Corpse Flew First Class"
5. "Death By Demographics"
6. "Doom with a View"
7. "Film Flam"
8. "Hooray for Homicide"
9. "Menace, Anyone?"
10. "Murder at a Discount"
11. "Murder of the Month Club"
12. "Murder Takes the Bus"
13. "One Good Bid Deserves a Murder"
14. "Paint Me a Murder"
15. "Showdown in Saskatchewan"
16. "Simon Says, Color Me Dead"
17. "Something Foul in Flappieville"
18. "To the Last Will I Grapple with Thee"
19. "Unauthorized Obituary"
20. "We’re Off to Kill the Wizard"


Oct. 15th, 2009 05:14 pm (UTC)
I have, in fact, watched Murder, She Wrote, and am therefore mortally terrified of Maine.
Oct. 15th, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
Same here, only I'm terrified of Angela Lansbury. Everywhere she went, something terrible happened!
Oct. 15th, 2009 08:54 pm (UTC)
You realize, of course, that Jessica Fletcher was probably one of the most prolific serial killers in the history of detective fiction.

Also, Angela Lansbury got me to swear off Taco Bell for several years. I was listening to an interview about Sweeney Todd while eating lunch in my car, and when they played a clip of "A Little Priest" (a lovely tune about grinding people up and baking them into pies), I started looking at the filling of my soft tacos... differently.
Oct. 19th, 2009 03:59 am (UTC)
At some point I seriously planned planned on writing a X-Files/Murder She Wrote crossover where it turns out Jessica Fletcher is actually Elizabeth Bathory. Mulder discovers that she never died; instead she was put under a curse by the mother of one of her victims, which dictated that she must stop a murder at least once a year or face a horrible death and presumably Hell. Unfortunately, Elizabeth/Jessica found a loophole by brainwashing people into killing and then setting them up to take the fall.

I still kind of regret never getting around to writing that story.
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 15th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
There's a blog just waiting to happen in these titles somewhere (a la Marmaduke Explained) where someone could come up with ridiculous plot synopses based on the title
Oct. 15th, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
"Murder Takes the Bus" cracks me up.
We only got three channels when I was a kid, and since the world is boring and the outdoors are terrifying and boring, we watched a lot of shows that I wouldn't recommend, like Murder She Wrote and Golden Girls and that show with the terrifying French clown who lives in a post-apocalyptic voidworld on TVO (I believe only Ontarian children got the chance to be emotionally scarred by it. Emotionally scarred while learning French! Quebocois French is the language of Fear).

Where are our awesome/bad shows about middle-aged/old ladies in the aughts?
Oct. 16th, 2009 06:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, man, the French Clown show on TVO. Is any other educational show remembered with as much dread?
Oct. 15th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
I have observed that you enjoy puns. I don't think you could pass a pun without creating your own.
Oct. 15th, 2009 06:49 pm (UTC)
Definite case of Ellery Queen's influence there, I'd say.
Oct. 15th, 2009 07:12 pm (UTC)
"One Good Bid Deserves a" Hey look this one is going to be normal! "Murder" OH YOU GUYS
Oct. 15th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
"Corned Beef and Carnage!"
Oct. 15th, 2009 07:52 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of one of my favorite MST3K lines
http://im.ly/971b6/ skip to about 1:35 :)
Oct. 19th, 2009 08:06 am (UTC)
What's the pun on 14? I feel like that's totally arbitrary.

Also, 18 would be an awesome name for an agnostic hymn.