- Any homosexual act is punishable by seven years in prison.
- Defending or promoting homosexuality is also punishable by jail time, as is failing to report people you know to be engaging in homosexuality.
- Entering into a same-sex marriage is punishable by life imprisonment.
- Any Ugandan who leaves the country and engages in gay sex elsewhere would be subject to extradition, and punished as if they had committed their acts under Ugandan law.
- Ugandans would face the death penalty for engaging in gay sex with anyone under 18, or for being homosexual recidivists.
- Other 'crimes' involving mandatory jail time would include teaching safe sex for gays and writing books about homosexuality.
- In a delightful cut-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-fag maneuver, Uganda -- a relatively poor country that is heavily dependent upon foreign aid -- would withdraw from any treaty involving countries that recognize civil rights or protections for homosexuals.
The bill, which is almost certain to pass, faces such widespread popularity -- and such vigorous defenders -- that many progressive legislators in Uganda are afraid to speak out against it for fear of being labeled gay or gay-sympathetic themselves. Of course, if the bill does pass, being gay-sympathetic would become a crime punishable by imprisonment.
Those crazy intolerant Muslims! Am I right, folks? Oh wait the bill is sponsored and supported by evangelical Christians in Uganda who are being financially supported by wealthy American fundamentalists. But still! Muslims! They're so intolerant!