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The Great American Fatten-Up

Hey, folks:

As you may or may not know, I (and everyone else I work with) am getting shitcanned from my job on April 23rd. I’m planning to freelance full-time for at least a while before getting another full-time gig — and if you have any freelance writing, editing, or proofing leads, please send ‘em my way — but I’m also planning, starting in May, a long cross-country road trip.

Why? Because I love to drive, and I may not ever have this chance again. Where? Roughly, my itinerary is:

San Antonio -> Phoenix -> L.A. -> Vegas -> San Francisco -> Portland -> Seattle -> Vancouver -> Regina -> Winnipeg -> Thunder Bay -> Twin Cities -> Madison -> Chicago -> Syracuse -> Boston -> NYC -> Philadelphia -> DC -> Chapel Hill -> Miami -> Birmingham -> NOLA -> Dallas -> San Antonio.

I’ll be working (freelancing) the whole time, but I’ll also be checking out the housing market (with this job gone, I have no compelling reason to stay in SATX), the job market (particularly in book publishing/educational publishing, so again, if you know anything, give a holla), and the cultural scene (for my own edification). If you feel like saying hey to me when I’m in your area, just drop a line.

But where I need your help RIGHT NOW is: I’m going to blog this road trip, because that is what people do when they are nerds, is they blog things. And I need a good name for this road trip blog, because I am stinkeroo at naming things. Just ask my son, Satan Death Fuck Penis.

So: your suggestions in comments! Winner gets a free meal when I slither through your town.


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Mar. 9th, 2010 07:18 pm (UTC)
I think I’ve said before that ever since high school, I’ve used all my mad comical writing skillz to sign people’s year books, birthday cards, playbills or whatever — with my name. Period. I am horrible at coming up with clever things to write or say on command, so I can’t help you with the blog name. But I can reiterate that you will at least have a free place to stay when you’re in the NYC area, and I can help point you toward some of the lesser-known and more affordable neighborhoods if you want to apartment-hunt here. So there is that, at least.
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:50 pm (UTC)
Well thank you!
BLANK - roseyv - Mar. 9th, 2010 08:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:18 pm (UTC)
the great northern slouch
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:04 pm (UTC)
this is good.
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
I nominate "Something Leonard This Way Comes"
Need a place to stay in the Philly area? We're only about seven miles into Jersey. Regardless, say hello when you come through.
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:51 pm (UTC)
Re: I nominate "Something Leonard This Way Comes"
I'm not sure where I'll be staying; I'll probably mooch off of you or RJ. But I definitely wanna see you and your family (!) when I'm in town.
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
i'm working on your blog title. i'll get back to you. it's gonna be good.

lord knows there's no book publishing here in seattle--that's why i left for new york, and then came back when all the publishers there went out of biz--but if you wanna do tech writing, there's gobs. pretty high cultural value too. i recommend it, personally.
Mar. 9th, 2010 07:53 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Seattle's awfully tempting. I don't know much about technical writing, but I love the city, I love the surroundings, and I have a bunch of friends up there. It's pricey, and the rain would probably get me down, but it's in my top five of possibly relocation sites, depending on how the job market shakes down.
BLANK - superdaintykate - Mar. 10th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 9th, 2010 08:20 pm (UTC)
I suggest 21st Century Dickaresque, not because you are a dick but because your voyage sounds like a cross between a picaresque and, you know, dickin' around.

And you should definitely let me know when you're going to be in the St. Paul/Minneapolis area. We shall hang.
Mar. 9th, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:03 pm (UTC)
honestly, other people have suggested better
Bat Out Of Hell IV: Bridge Freezes Before Roadway

Also, say hi when you're in Boston. I hear we do some publishing up here.
Mar. 9th, 2010 10:57 pm (UTC)
I do not see Sydney on the itinerary. It would be easy to fit into the drive in between LA and SF, surely. A bit of extra petrol, sturdy windshield wipers, and voila!

I feel oppressed.
Mar. 10th, 2010 02:14 am (UTC)
The tolls are just brutal, though.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 10th, 2010 02:16 am (UTC)
I might just do.
Mar. 10th, 2010 12:32 am (UTC)
sooo cooool!!! stay with us in Chicago please! Just let us know when you'll hit Chicago as far in advance as you can (I understand road trips are not totally predictable though), since we're having a lot of foot traffic this summer.

A friend of ours worked for Kaplan in NYC for a long time, if you're interested I might be able to hook you up with some deets.
Mar. 10th, 2010 02:18 am (UTC)
I will certainly stay with you, or at least come see you, in Chic. I'll let you know as soon as I have a clear idea of when I'll be there.

It would have to be a damn good job for me to consider NYC because of the expense, but yeah, if you have any details, I'll take 'em.
Mar. 10th, 2010 01:05 am (UTC)
The route you're proposing is basically a circle around North America, so you could play with that somehow . . .

Circling the Drain? [too grim]
- The Great Circle Route [too corny]
- Driving in Circles [too obvious?]
- Holding Pattern [like you're circling the airport? too obscure?]

Go with the job-search angle?

- In Pursuit of the Last Publishing Job in America
- The Hunting of the Snark(y Writing Gig)
- Chasing Health Insurance [again, maybe too grim]

I can't offer much in the way of accommodation, but if you make it to DC I can definitely take you out for a beer or a meal, and recommend local cultural establishments for concerts and whatnot. I'm not particularly connected to the publishing scene in town, but I'd be happy to introduce you to some fundraising writers I know if you'd ever consider going into the begging-for-money business.
Mar. 10th, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)
Pierce-ing The Asphalt

Leonard In Recession Land


Mar. 10th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
You should just go old school ludickid and call it 'Fuck You, Schoolboy'
Mar. 10th, 2010 02:18 am (UTC)
I could do that. Indeed I could.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 10th, 2010 02:19 am (UTC)
Shit, we ain't never met. Maybe that should be rectified.
Mar. 10th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
1) You can't name the thing yet, because you don't know what it's going to be like yet! Spend some time on the road, see a couple of places first.

That said, Driveover Country.

2) Drop me a line when you get to the Bay Area! Or, ideally, a couple of weeks before.
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