So, FOX "News" has "hired" Sarah Palin* to "create" a show called Real American Stories, in which she flogs the heroics of other people in order reflect glory upon herself. And in the debut episode, the network flogged an interview with L.L. Cool J. And that's cool, because he's an inspirational dude, right? He made one of the greatest hip-hop records of all time when he was sixteen years old; he's won two Grammys and has had 14 Top Forty hits; and he's the baddest rapper in the history of rap itself!
Only it turns out that the interview wasn't done for Real American Stories at all. It's a two-year-old interview that doesn't have anything to do with Sarah Palin, or FOX, or anything. Ladies Love Cool James was apparently a bit put off by this seeming endorsement of the show, and tweeted thus:
Fox lifted an old interview I gave in 2008 to someone else & are misrepresenting to the public in order to promote Sarah Palins Show. WOW.
This has the advantage of being true, but we do live in a media-driven world, so his handlers finessed it a bit:
Contrary to what was reported, LL Cool J was never scheduled to be a guest on 'Real American Stories' with Sarah Palin this week. The show had planned to use an interview from 2008 that was being repurposed without LL's permission. This statement is not a reflection of any feelings LL has toward Fox News or Ms. Palin, whom he has never met, rather a clarification of what we have seen published in the media.
I don't find either of those statements particularly egregious. Mr. Smith could easily have said (if there wasn't that pesky 140-character limit something like "That callow right-wing shitbag Sarah Palin and her gang of idiots are being deliberately deceitful in using my image to promote their hunk-of-crap show, which would surprise me if I didn't already know that lies run in their veins like hemoglobin." It would still be right, and half the country would cheer him for telling FOX and Palin to go get fucked. But LL said something merely meant to embarrass them for their chicanery, and his handlers took what passes for the classy way out among publicists.
But here's the really fun part: FOX's response.
'Real American Stories' features uplifting tales about overcoming adversity and we believe Mr. Smith's interview fits that criteria. However, as it appears that Mr. Smith does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others, we are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.
Now, there are several ways you could characterize that response. "Bitchy" would be one way. "Petty" would be another. "Catty" and "childish" would be two more. You particularly have to love the "fledgling acting career" thing, because, while nobody's gonna argue that Cool J is any great shakes as an actor, he's about a million times more successful as an actor than Sarah Palin is as an anything. I mean, shit, look at the numbers:
L.L. COOL J: 2 Grammys, 14 Top 40 hits, 10 platinum albums, 5 gold albums, starred in 22 feature films including 2 #1 box office hits, starred in 8 television series including lead roles in two, multiple successful endorsement deals, started three successful businesses.
SARAH PALIN: Came in third place in beauty contest, attended four colleges before graduating, failed to make it as a sportscaster on two different TV stations, won mayoral race in town where less than a thousand people voted, lost nomination for lieutenant governor, was forced to resign from state appointment over ethics charges, won the governorship of Alaska but quit before finishing her term, and ran for vice-president of the United States and was not only roundly defeated, but also widely blamed for sinking the entire ticket. L.L. Cool J has even written more books than she has.
So, you can see why she would be really condescending to him.
*: Apparently, she is also going to have a show on TLC called Sarah Palin's Alaska. I guess It Was Sarah Palin's Alaska for Two Years But She Couldn't Handle It and She Quit was too long.