Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator (ludickid) wrote,
Gun-totin', Chronic-smokin' Hearse Initiator

Immortal Bedeviled

“I am.”

“You’re not.”

“I am too.”

“You are not too.”

“People do it all the time.”

“No, no one does it all the time.  No one has ever lived forever.  Everyone dies.  It’s a human constant.”

“Dracula never died.”

“Dracula is a fictional character.”


“Well, all right, he was real, but the version of him who lived forever as a vampire isn’t real.  Besides, he was undead, which isn’t the same as eternally alive, and…look, you’re muddling the issue.  Everyone who has ever lived has died.”

“Then I’ll be the first.  I’ll be the Jackie Robinson of mortality.  I’ll break the death barrier.”

“This is fantastic.”

“You watch me.”

“Well, I suppose.  The problem is that if I die first, you get to claim that you won and I’ll never be the wiser.”

“How do you mean?”

“If I die, and you’re still alive, you can SAY you’re immortal and I’ll be too dead to prove you wrong.  It’s not a fair contest.”

“Then you’ll have to live forever too.”


“So you can prove that it’s not possible by watching me die.”

“You’re proposing that, in order to disprove human immortality, I become immortal, in order to spite you upon your death, even though I myself will not be able to die, thus refuting my own argument.”

“Like you’ve got so much else to do.”

“Fair enough.”


Tags: features, humor, other

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